


i'm (not) your dolly

by nanamilks



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - 1990s, Alternate Universe - Age Changes, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Cheating, Dysfunctional Relationships, Emotional Manipulation, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Everyone Is Gay, Explicit Sexual Content, Gaslighting, Han Jisung | Han & Seo Changbin are Best Friends, Hwang Hyunjin & Yang Jeongin | I.N are Best Friends, Law Student Hwang Hyunjin, M/M, Minor Han Jisung | Han/Yang Jeongin | I.N, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Producer Seo Changbin, Recreational Drug Use, Rich Hwang Hyunjin, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-17 14:42:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28850772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nanamilks/pseuds/nanamilks
Summary: If he still felt the same way about Hyunjin as he did when he first met him, he would be certain that he’d get judged for the way that he lives. If he were bringing in the prissy Hyunjin that always flaunted his name brands and never wore the same sweater twice, Changbin would be mortified. Now that he knows Hyunjin, though, he doesn’t think Hyunjin ever would have been like that at all, even if they weren’t as close as they are now. First impressions are funny that way.Hwang Hyunjin is gorgeous, but there is so much more to him than that.
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin/Seo Changbin
Comments: 17
Kudos: 117
Collections: Be Kind: Rewind! | SKZ 90s Fic Fest





	i'm (not) your dolly

**Author's Note:**

> this is my submission for 90's fest!! i have grown so attached to this universe, this story, and these characters, and i hope you enjoy them just as much.
> 
> this work explores the dynamics of an emotionally and potentially physically abusive relationship from an outside perspective, and can therefore become a bit triggering. if you are sensitive to themes of emotional or physical abuse, manipulation, coercion, or drug use, i would advise that you don't read this, or that you at least go into it with an understanding of what you are going to be reading. furthermore, junseo is an original character, and is in no way meant to represent or correspond to any idol, living or otherwise. 
> 
> based on barbie girl by aqua ♡

1995

Hwang Hyunjin is gorgeous. That’s all there is to him, though.

He’s a pretty face to see first thing in the morning, when Changbin’s still nursing his black coffee and cigarette and the sleep sitting heavily on his shoulders is encouraging him to have a bad day. He usually offers a smile with his "good morning, Changbin," although it's tight-lipped and shallow, sticky from the shimmering lip gloss he's always slathering on. Changbin will nod respectfully on his way past the front desk, but never more than that. Sometimes Hyunjin will give him the obligatory _how are you_ , to which Changbin offers an obligatory _fine_. He doesn’t usually ask in return — doesn’t want to open the door for him to start talking. Once it’s open, he’ll never stop.

Despite how much the kid can talk, Changbin truthfully doesn’t know very much about him. Whether that’s because he’s always tuning him out or because he never has anything of substance to share, Changbin’s not sure. He knows he’s young, uncertain on _how_ young but he knows he’s in college, always lugging around law textbooks and a thick backpack. He knows he’s filthy rich judging not only by the clothes and jewelry he wears, but by the honey-colored mane that seems like it’s growing out blonde directly from his scalp, considering he never has any dark roots. Changbin can only imagine how expensive that has to be to upkeep.

Then there’s the fact that, for as much as Hyunjin likes to talk, he doesn’t much like to listen. The amount of times they have to repeat things to him before they stick could be because of a number of reasons — maybe they’re speaking too fast, or using too many production terms that Hyunjin doesn’t understand yet, or maybe he has too much going on in his head to hear them correctly the first time. Or, he could just be stupid. Changbin’s pretty sure it’s that.

Most prominent about Hyunjin besides his blonde hair and his pink clothes and his inability to listen, is his boyfriend. Sometimes Changbin isn’t sure who’s worse. Perhaps that’s where his dislike for Hyunjin comes from; he can’t understand how anyone could voluntarily subject themselves to someone like Junseo. He gets paid to sit next to the guy for hours upon hours a day and Hyunjin does it for free. So maybe he _is_ as stupid as he seems.

When the door creaks open and Changbin checks his watch, it's only been a mere twenty or so minutes since he'd refilled his coffee, dropped his shit on the old couch in the corner, and sat down to resume yesterday's track with Junseo. They share a look, one that only embodies a fraction of Changbin's irritation, before Junseo spins his chair around to see what he wants — the beginning of a cycle. Changbin goes back to the mixing table, fucking around with the settings as Hyunjin's antics begin. He sighs between sleep-swollen lips.

"I'm sorry to bug you already," Hyunjin starts, and Changbin has to laugh, a humorless breath through the nose. "I just wanted to tell you two that you have a full schedule today."

Hyunjin joined their company only two months ago, recruited by Junseo as their assistant, receptionist, glorified coffee maker. It's his _job_ to tell them what's going on with their schedule, Changbin is well aware. That doesn't make it less annoying when Hyunjin tells him things he already knows as if Changbin is going to come to work fully unprepared for the day ahead of him. At times like this, Changbin's convinced he comes up with anything to deliver as news just so he can bother them. So he can drape himself over Junseo like they haven't seen each other all day, like he is now. 

"Yeah? Who's coming in?" Junseo indulges him as he often does, reaching behind him to rest a hand on Hyunjin's ass as the blonde wraps his arms around his shoulders, pressing a kiss to the side of his head. Changbin keeps his eyes trained on his work in front of him, determined to tune out the sound of them starting to peck each other's lips here and there, of Hyunjin's little giggles as Junseo whispers something into his ear.

"Who's coming in, Hyunjin," Changbin interjects, even though he already knows. Anything to break up whatever is happening beside him right now. He dares to glance over, just as Hyunjin is turning his head to look back at him, the smile on his full lips falling into a straight line. His eyes roll over Changbin's body from head to toe and back again, regarding him with a look Changbin can't really decipher. Changbin narrows his eyes in question, giving him a once over as well. Like a standoff between two stray cats.

"Yeonjun is coming at noon, he's booked for two hours. That metal band you met with last week is in at two-thirty, two hours. Uh, at three-thirty, Jieun is coming in to uh," he trails off, leaning his head against Junseo's, one of his hands idly rubbing the older man's chest. "Fuck. I forgot. But she's coming in at three-thirty. Then—"

"Thank you," Changbin cuts him off, hunching forward in his chair and messing with a stabilizer. "Jieun's booked for half an hour to record backing vocals. San's after that for two hours. We got it."

Hyunjin falls silent, but Changbin can feel him still watching the side of his face. For a handful of seconds, it's just the ticking of the clock on the far wall and the repetitive runs of the beat Changbin's trying to piece together. His jaw tenses; if Junseo doesn't tell Hyunjin to get back to work in the next moment, Changbin's going to do it and it's not going to be nearly as romantic.

"Go on back to work, baby," Junseo says, followed by another kiss sound. "Let me know when Yeonjun gets here. Alright?" Hyunjin hums and starts toward the studio door, stopping in his tracks when he receives a firm smack to the ass from a smirking Junseo. Changbin wants to leave this body and go back home.

"Stop," Hyunjin whines, but the giggle that breaks it begs otherwise. Another kiss, and then he really is leaving. "Bye, you two."

The click of the door closing finally allows Changbin’s shoulders to relax.

Hwang Hyunjin is not only gorgeous. He's annoying, a bit stupid. The bane of Changbin's existence, really. It's a good thing that he's just gorgeous enough to almost make up for all of that. Almost.

•

In all fairness, Hyunjin isn’t _all_ bad. His attitude gets the best of him sometimes and he’s definitely not high on the list of coworkers Changbin has _liked_ in his life, but he could be much worse. Their last receptionist was better in the sense that she didn’t have to be told more than once to do things and did them immediately, but her attitude was far worse. She was a high school student, one of Yoongi’s friend’s daughters, and boy did it show. She was messy, unafraid to admit that she simply didn’t want to do things, and that was assuming she would even show up for work. 

When Yoongi caught on he’d let her go immediately, and Junseo claimed to have salvation in the form of Hyunjin. Changbin’s expectations weren’t high.

Hyunjin does his job well. He schedules recording sessions and meetings in the most efficient way he can, never putting anything so close to something else that the producers don’t get a chance to breathe or take care of other business first. He’s always on top of ordering supplies, he’s pretty organized despite the mess that his desk can accumulate, and their clients seem to like him, too. 

The first time they ever had a conversation that didn’t make Changbin want to roll his eyes right out of his head was in the elevator on a rainy morning, toward the end of the summer. Changbin was scheduled to open, and it looked like Hyunjin was, too, when Changbin saw him coming down the other end of the sidewalk with his backpack on his shoulders and a pink umbrella over his head. Changbin nods at him in greeting and Hyunjin pulls his free hand out of his coat pocket to wave, meeting him at the front steps. 

“Good morning,” Hyunjin says, a bit too chipper this early in the morning for Changbin’s liking. Still he says it back, voice deep, thick with sleep.

Changbin hadn’t grabbed an umbrella because he hadn’t expected it to start raining while he drove here, and instead only had the protection of his jacket’s hood. As he stands before the door, searching his ring of keys for the one to get them inside, the rain beats down like a drum and urges him to go faster although the wetness on his hands makes everything slippery. He feels a presence step up behind him, and when he looks, Hyunjin is standing close to him with his umbrella over both of their heads.

Hyunjin offers a small smile and Changbin’s too stunned and morning-grumpy to give one back. He wipes his dripping hand on his jeans and finally gets the door unlocked, letting them inside and flipping on the master lights. Hyunjin closes his umbrella and sets his things at the reception desk before he follows Changbin to the elevator for — whatever reason. Changbin doesn’t really care to ask, as long as he doesn’t plan on following him beyond the elevator doors. Changbin keeps to one side of the elevator, presses the button for the third floor, and slumps against the wall.

“Junseo has a couple of sweatshirts in the coat closet downstairs,” Hyunjin says, his voice taking Changbin by surprise. Changbin has already grown so used to the feeling of his damp clothes that he’d almost forgotten they were damp at all. “If you want one. I don’t know what they smell like, but.” 

Changbin can’t help but to chuckle at that, and Hyunjin does, too. He might have to take him up on that. “Thanks.” He thinks to leave it there, but feels inclined to give Hyunjin some fraction of kindness back today. “Didn’t know it was supposed to rain today.”

It’s just impersonal small talk, but Hyunjin seems delighted by the fact Changbin is initiating it. “Me neither. It’s been really nice lately.” Hyunjin pulls the sleeves of his cream-colored sweater down over his hands, and it makes him look incredibly tiny despite how much height he has over Changbin. The older finds himself lingering on him for a moment too long, and looks at the elevator doors once they open. They step out together.

“I’m gonna make a pot of coffee,” Hyunjin says, starting to head in the opposite direction than Changbin. “Do you want me to bring you some when it’s done?”

Changbin grins at the gesture but shakes his head. “I’ll come get it, don’t worry about it.” Changbin unlocks the door to his preferred studio and glances down the hall, watching Hyunjin go into the staff room. “Have a good day,” he calls, making Hyunjin stop in his tracks and spin on his heel to look at Changbin with surprised eyes. 

His strawberry lips form a bright smile. “You, too.”

Maybe Hyunjin himself isn’t what’s so annoying about Hyunjin. Maybe it’s the way that the Hyunjin that Changbin doesn’t mind as much turns into the one he can’t stand whenever Junseo shows up for work. The next time he sees him that day, he’s flirting with Junseo in the staff room and giggling brainlessly at some flat joke Jun must have come up with on the spot. It’s incredible how quickly his disdain for both of them swallows up whatever contentness he’d been feeling today. 

It really is that easy.

•

Most days offer similar situations, endless combinations of annoying Hyunjins and equally annoying Junseos. Today's Hyunjin doesn't come into the studio until just after six in the evening, preoccupied with classes as he is twice a week. The morning has been productive, however no more quiet than it would be if Hyunjin had been around.

Changbin has been in the studio beside Junseo for nearly four hours now, working with a young indie soloist on her first EP, and neither of them can seem to agree on anything. It's never been any kind of easy to work with Junseo, especially on music that neither of them particularly like, and every suggestion Changbin has to make what they're working with _better_ gets shut down before it can even finish leaving his mouth. Their poor client sits in the booth with awkward hands in her lap, busying herself with vocal runs while her producers bicker.

"I personally really liked that cadence," Changbin tries, taking one of his headphones off and tucking it behind his ear. "I think if we just make the pitch a little higher—"

"How many times have we talked about that shit, man," Junseo takes his headphones off fully, hanging them around his neck. Changbin furrows his eyebrows and shifts in his seat, prepared for whatever fight Junseo's about to start. "That higher pitch shit doesn't work in every single song."

"I didn't _say_ it works in every song. For this one, yeah, I think it would suit."

"So it can sound just like that other bullshit you tried to put together yesterday for Sooyoung.”

“Come the fuck _on_ , man, ” Changbin leans back in his seat, distancing himself from his partner that’s pissing him off to the point of a tense jaw and a tapping foot. “What the hell are we supposed to do, then, if every idea I have is so god damn awful but you don’t have _shit_ to offer as an alternative?”

He doesn’t feel like fighting today, especially not in front of a client, but at times like this it seems inevitable. Junseo gets up from his chair and shoves it into the desk with an aggression that makes their client jump from where she's sitting in the booth, and she looks at Changbin questioningly. Having to explain to her why his partner, the oldest man present in this building, is about to throw a tantrum for no comprehensible reason is not something Changbin wants to get into right now.

Junseo leaves the room in a huff of curses with Changbin's name all over them. Changbin shakes his head and offers a thin, apologetic smile to their artist, getting up from his own seat.

"Let's take ten," he says into the microphone when he buzzes in to her. "That was a good run, Chaeryeong." He goes to open the booth door for her and closes it behind her. Once she's left him alone, he leans back against the door and knocks his head against it once, twice, three times in frustration. He can't remember the last time they had a decent fucking day.

When the elevator opens up to the lobby, Changbin spots a head of blonde hair hunched over a book at the reception desk, half tied up with a red scrunchie that matches the red in his sweater vest. Hyunjin's scribbling into a notebook with one hand and holding the stick of a lollipop with the other, hot pink lips idly pressed to the candy like a kiss. Changbin's eyes linger on his pout and the way his tongue dips out to lick a stripe over the lollipop before he takes the whole thing in his mouth. He has to look away.

"Hey," he greets, occupying himself with the pouch of cigarettes he pulls from his jacket. He pulls one out and dares to look up at Hyunjin, finding him looking surprised that Changbin's talking to him, or at least being the one to initiate it. Changbin's not really sure why he's doing this, either; maybe he just needs the distraction from the anger that's bubbling in the pit of his stomach.

"Hey," he says after he pulls the sucker from his mouth, leaning forward on his elbows and grinning up at Changbin. His lips look a little swollen, impossibly more plump than they usually are. Not that Changbin ever looks that hard.

"You just get here?"

Hyunjin nods, tapping the eraser of his pencil against his book. "Got out of class, like, half an hour ago?" He glances at the analog clock on the wall to his left, then back to Changbin. "I thought you were in a session until eight?"

Changbin's jaw tenses and he rolls his eyes, leaning a hip against the desk. "Your boyfriend loves to waste my time. And our clients'. She probably wants to go home and never come back."

Hyunjin frowns and his shoulders sag, seemingly disappointed but not surprised to hear that. "What did he do now?"

Changbin shakes his head, unsure if he wants to get into it at all, much less with Hyunjin of all people who could run off and tell Junseo about whatever shit he talks and make his night even worse. "Sometimes I feel like a fucking kindergarten teacher, is all."

Rather than looking offended or ready to defend Junseo's honor, Hyunjin just nods solemnly.

"I know exactly how you feel. Trust me." He looks a bit guilty, like a parent that's just been told by their child’s teacher that they've been acting up again. "Sorry. Do you need me to talk to him?"

Changbin tucks his unlit cigarette between his lips and shakes his head again as if to shake off the tension he's brought into the air. He hopes Hyunjin isn't going to worry about it now — he doesn't want him distracted from his apparent studying, or even worse, doesn't want him coming upstairs to check on them more than he usually does in an attempt to mediate.

"Don't worry about it. Hopefully he went to cool off, or something." He starts toward the door to get outside so he can smoke on the side of the building before he has to get back to work. "Have fun studying."

Hyunjin sticks his lollipop back into his mouth, tucked into one of his cheeks and making his face look even rounder when he smiles Changbin's way. "Thanks."

After work, Changbin meets up with a couple of his buddies at the bar they always go to, this dimly lit place tucked between a barbeque place and a noraebang popular among college kids. By the time he gets there, Jisung and Chan are already two bottles of soju deep at a table near the window, watching a group of older men play at the pool table. Jisung ushers him over with a loud holler of his name and a flailing arm, making Changbin shake his head and smile to himself. This is exactly the kind of energy he needs after the day he’s had.

“What up,” Chan greets him, holding out his hand for the usual handshake-and-hug salute. Changbin gets the same welcome from Jisung before he sits down on one of the barstools, shrugging off his jacket and sighing in relief, like the burden of the day is finally slipping away. 

“Never in my life has an indie EP taken this long to put together.” Changbin holds his glass out with both hands so Chan can fill it up with soju, then knocks it back immediately. Chan laughs and fills it right back up.

“That same one you’ve been working on since, like, August?” Jisung asks. Changbin nods, downing his drink again and getting a giggly _yah!_ from Chan who tops his glass off again.

“Junseo hates it. I fuckin’ hate it too, but it’s still gotta get done.” Changbin leans back in his chair and folds his arms over his chest. He hates to bring work talk outside of work, but these guys get it, having produced plenty of music of their own. “At this point, Jun doesn’t care what goes out. It’s the kid’s first album, I don’t want to let her down.”

Chan rests his arms on the table and leans forward on them, relaxed. “Tell him to fuck off and work on it yourself, just you and the girl. Fuck him.”

“He’s once again proven himself to be good for nothing,” Jisung agrees, taking a sip from his own glass. “Sorry, bro. I’m sure It’s gonna come out great.”

“That other guy still giving you hell, too?” Chan asks, and Changbin furrows his eyebrows for a moment. “The blonde one.”

“The hot one,” Jisung interjects, and Changbin scoffs at him.

“How would you know?” 

“I don’t! You make him _sound_ hot.”

Changbin sputters around the brim of his glass. “I do not!”

Jisung and Chan make similar faces, but back off. Changbin keeps his scowl, ready to offer some story about how Hyunjin drove him crazy like he usually has at the ready, but today he’s got — nothing. “He hasn’t done anything lately. I don’t know. He’s fine.”

“I’m sure he is,” Chan grins, and dodges the swing at his arm Changbin launches across the table.

•

The rest of the week follows a similar tune. Changbin finds himself in another argument with Junseo come Saturday night, but luckily they're alone this time. With no one around for Changbin to try to save face in front of, he allows himself to fight back, raising his voice each time Jun does until they're both near to bursting blood vessels. Changbin throws in the towel first.

"Erase it then," he insists, taking off his headphones and tossing them onto the mixing console, effectively fucking up whatever beat he'd just made. "Yoongi wants this shit done tomorrow night. I'm not going to waste any more time fighting with you about it."

By the way that Jun doesn't respond, going back to fiddling with the pans and faders, Changbin assumes this argument is done and the only way they're going to have a peaceful rest of the night is if he lets him do whatever he wants. He's not willing to put out a shit record just to appease him, though, so if he slips back into this booth after hours and reconfigures the track to be better, then so be it.

A three-tap knock on the door that's easily recognizable as Hyunjin sounds more like salvation than anything. Changbin turns his seat toward the door as it slowly creaks open, a blonde head of hair peeking in to make sure he isn't interrupting anything. His eyes comb over Junseo's hunched frame before they move to Changbin, and when they find that Changbin's looking back at him, Hyunjin gives him an apologetic grin that reminds him a bit of a frog and makes him huff out a laugh.

"Sorry," he begins like he always does, "Jun, that guy you called about the speakers in studio four is here."

There's a long stretch of silence while he waits for Jun to respond; Changbin watches his colleague actively ignore Hyunjin, still fiddling with the sound table and keyboard in front of him. Changbin thinks to just go help the guy instead, but he doesn't want to step on Hyunjin's toes when he's trying to get his boyfriend's attention. The silence continues on until it becomes uncomfortable.

Hyunjin pushes the door open a little more and leans a shoulder against it. "Junseo," he says louder, although it's obvious in Junseo's tense shoulders that he heard him just fine. When it's obvious that Hyunjin isn't going to leave without some kind of answer, Changbin opens his mouth to say he himself will be right there, but the rough sound of Junseo's voice startles him quiet.

"Are you fucking for real, Hyunjin?" he says, getting up from his chair and turning to Hyunjin who tries to remain unaffected in his body language but the way his eyes widen in surprise betrays him. Junseo pulls his headphones off and tosses them onto the table, effectively fucking up their beat even _more_ , grabbing his keys and his "You have to come get me for everything? You don't know where studio fucking four is now?"

Hyunjin squints at him, folding his arms over his chest. "I know _fuck all_ about your equipment, Junseo. How the hell do you expect me to help him when he starts asking about shit? He's here for _you_ , not me." He stands his ground even with Junseo towering over him like a cobra ready to strike but he's too aware of Changbin watching to really do anything. And fuck if Changbin isn't watching hard.

Junseo brushes past Hyunjin in the doorway and leaves with a grumble, something about Hyunjin being a _bitch_ , and Changbin's eyebrows raise to his hairline as he stares out the hallway. He looks at Hyunjin, monitoring his face for the kind of hurt he'd expect after someone's partner called them out of their name, as if ready to go after Junseo at the first sign of Hyunjin's upset. But Hyunjin just closes his eyes and leans his head back against the door. He brings a hand up to card through his hair, a bit wavy today.

"Has he been like that all day?" Hyunjin asks. Changbin nods earnestly.

"Driving me up the fucking wall." Changbin lets the silence build between them again, tension setting in his own jaw. Hyunjin is still standing there, his weight against the door, watching the sole of one of his sneakers scuff back and forth over the carpet. He's got his tongue in his cheek like he's trying to hold back from something — saying something, doing something. "Are you okay?"

A sarcastic sound leaves from between Hyunjin's teeth but he nods, clearly exasperated. "At least I wasn't a cunt this time."

Changbin's blood runs cold at that. What he did hear was bad enough; he can't even begin to imagine the things Junseo must say to him when he isn't around. Changbin sits up a little straighter in his chair. "You didn't do anything wrong, Hyunjin. You were just doing your job."

Hyunjin nods again, slowly as if in agreement, but doesn't meet Changbin's eyes. Changbin's folded hands in his lap tighten around each other and he starts to get up. "Do you want me to go talk to him?"

"No, no, it's fine," Hyunjin reaches out to Changbin as he nears the doorway, resting his hand on Changbin's forearm to keep him from going any farther. "I deal with this shit all the time. He'll get over it."

Changbin furrows his eyebrows. "He shouldn't talk to you like that even if you _did_ do something wrong, Hyunjin—"

"I know, it's— I know. Please, don't worry about it. Seriously." Hyunjin seems to realize that he's still holding onto Changbin and takes his hand back, folding his arms across his chest again. He offers Changbin the smallest of smiles, but it feels sincere. "Thanks."

Changbin stares at Hyunjin skeptically for a moment, then out the open door, then back to Hyunjin. "I've been wanting to beat his ass all day. You say the word."

The bright smile that takes over Hyunjin's face now is blinding. The way his eyes squint and his cheeks rise like dough, the trill of laughter that accompanies it — Changbin finds himself laughing, too, but he's so thrown by the sight of happiness on Hyunjin's once dejected face that it must sound a little distant.

"He can't take us both." Hyunjin's grin softens but the energy around him already feels much lighter than it had only seconds ago. It melts some of the strain out of Changbin's muscles that have been drawn since he'd even come into the studio so many hours ago now. "What have you guys been working on?"

Changbin hums in consideration as he walks back over to his chair and wheels himself up to the table once he's in it. He puts his headphones around his neck and holds one of the speakers to his ear. "We're supposed to have this EP polished by tomorrow and we've got a few songs that aren't quite done yet. We can't agree on the beat for the bridge of this track and I'm just... at my fucking limit."

Hyunjin steps up beside him and watches him start messing with buttons and switches and dials. He bends forward a little to watch closer, reading the labels on the things that Changbin's adjusting. "Can I listen?"

Changbin gazes at him, a bit awed. He can't imagine there's anything exciting about the production shit to someone who's not into it, and he worries for a painful moment that he's going to bore the absolute shit out of Hyunjin, but he's at the same time flattered that he'd want to take that risk. "Sure, yeah," he grabs Junseo's headphones and hands them to Hyunjin as the blonde pulls up the other chair and sits beside him.

He's not really sure where to start or how to word things to make them sound more interesting for Hyunjin, but as he shows him the controls and explains what they do and tries to explain his own vision for the track versus what Junseo's been trying to do, Hyunjin seems to keep up fine. He nods along, asks questions here and there, and if he agrees that Changbin's idea for the bridge is better than Junseo's, he's going to tuck that encouragement away for later.

“Sorry if this is boring.”

“No! It’s really cool. You make it look so easy.”

"Do you want to try?" Changbin offers, gesturing to the table. Hyunjin coos like a kid in a candy store and wheels closer, to both the controls and Changbin's side until the arms of their chairs are knocking into each other. He lets Hyunjin push some dials around and try to make a beat with the keyboard, sharing crinkly-eyed smiles with him as he tries his hardest to make something good and then asks for help starting over every few keys.

"Hey, I like it! You're pretty good," Changbin encourages, chuckling as Hyunjin nudges him bashfully in the arm.

"God, I don't know the first thing about this stuff. Jun never shows me anything," Hyunjin idly runs his fingers along the keyboard, tapping out the tune to a nursery rhyme. "I guess he thinks I won't understand, or something. Too stupid."

Changbin's still gazing at Hyunjin and even though Hyunjin's aura remains light and relaxed, Changbin's brow creases at the insinuation. " _As if_ you're stupid. Aren't you a whole law student?"

A sharp exhale through the nose, but his gentle smile is still there. "Pre-law."

Changbin nods once. "So I'm pretty sure you have better credentials than anyone in this building."

The apples of Hyunjin's cheeks go a bit pink around the edges, but Changbin pretends he doesn't see it. "I want credits on the album when you use this for a track."

Changbin leans back in his chair, keen to just listen to Hyunjin keep messing about with the board. He seems like he's having fun, and he's not half bad. "I'll think about it."

If Changbin was impressed by how quickly Hyunjin caught on to the controls, he’s awed by the soft tones that breeze through Hyunjin’s mouth, how he begins to sing along to the wordless melody he’s created, so quiet that Changbin can barely hear it. It’s entirely shy and maybe a little subconscious considering how muted it is, but Changbin sits there and watches his lips move unsurely around notes that mimic the ones he taps out on the keyboard.

“Pretty,” Changbin murmurs, and he doesn’t think he was loud enough to be heard, either, but Hyunjin smiles softly to himself and continues on, just as softly as before.

"What the fuck are you still doing in here?"

Neither of them realize that Junseo has come back until the bellow of his voice makes them both jump, turning around in their seats and pulling their headphones off of their ears. He's standing behind Hyunjin with something just short of fury in his features, the deep furrow of his brow contrasting with the wideness of his eyes, his hands in front of him like he's outraged that Hyunjin's not only still here, but still in the building at all.

"Wh— he can't be in here?" Changbin rests his headphones around his neck and grimaces Junseo's way. He glances at Hyunjin to make sure he's alright, prepared to end whatever bullshit's about to happen before it can begin. Hyunjin blinks up at Junseo, then at Changbin, lips parting as he tries to figure out his defense.

"Who's been at the front desk while you've been in here fucking around, huh? Who's been doing your job for you?" Junseo glares down at his boyfriend impatiently, waiting for him to speak up. "You're in here touching shit you don't need to be touching, about to fuck up everything we just did, for what?"

As Hyunjin cautiously takes his headphones off, Junseo reaches to grab them instead and snatches them from his hands. Changbin's own hand darts out at the sudden, aggressive movement, snatching the headphones from Junseo and angling himself so he's a bit in the way of Hyunjin. "Hey hey hey, chill the fuck out. He's not _messing up_ anything. You don't need to come in here acting like that when you have no idea what's going on."

"What's going on is I don't pay him to sit in here and fuck around with you." Junseo points a finger at Changbin and it takes an incredible amount of self control not to smack it away. He points the same finger at Hyunjin. "I tell you to do something, you do it. I pay you to sit at that fucking desk, you need to do it. What's so hard to understand about that?"

Changbin's about to see red. "You need to fucking calm down."

" _You_ need to mind your own fucking business," Junseo's stare feels like it's meant to instill some sort of fear in Changbin, but all it does is raise his blood pressure and tighten the grip he has on the arm of his chair. Junseo puts his hand on the back of his chair that Hyunjin's still sitting in and Changbin watches it like it's a wild animal ready to strike. "Get the fuck out of here, Hyunjin."

Hyunjin's expression is indiscernible. He's got his lips bitten between his teeth as though he's trying to hold something in. He stands up and Changbin watches him go for the door, Junseo reclaiming his seat once Hyunjin's away from it. Hyunjin doesn't look at either of them before he leaves, slamming the door behind him hard enough to rattle the framed records hanging on the wall.

A long wave of silence washes over the room and tries its best to remedy the tension, but it doesn't do much good. The last thing Changbin wants to do is sit here and continue working with Junseo after that display. He wants to go check on Hyunjin, at least. By his lack of reaction to all of that, the possibility that they get into altercations like that more often than Changbin would like to think makes his stomach feel sick. He gets up from his chair.

"You don't have to be such a dickhead. He wasn't doing anything wrong." Changbin grabs his cigarettes from his jacket that's slung over the sofa against the wall. He heads for the door and shakes his head in disbelief, still processing what the fuck he just witnessed.

The last thing he hears before he shuts the door behind him is another, "you need to mind your own business."

Hyunjin doesn't look up when Changbin comes into the lobby. He's leaning his head on a fist and flipping through his textbook, probably trying to go back to studying like he's often doing. Changbin can't help that his gaze lingers on that blonde head of hair, chest feeling tight, as he walks past the front desk and outside to smoke.

When he comes back inside, Hyunjin looks up in anticipation of a client, but when he sees that it's just Changbin, he casts his eyes down again and flips the page in his book. Changbin figures he wants to be left alone, likely more embarrassed than anything that someone else had to be around for what happened, but there's no way Changbin could walk away from this like it never occured. He stops by the desk for a moment, resting an elbow on the surface.

"Hey," Changbin whispers, getting Hyunjin's attention. His eyes are a little pink. "Are you okay?"

Hyunjin nods stiffly. "Fine." He goes back to his studies, but mutters, "Sooyoung will be here in half an hour. Backing vocals."

Changbin nods himself, squinting at whatever text Hyunjin is focusing on so intently. Something about plea-bargaining misconduct and bolded terminology that goes right over Changbin's head. He idly taps the counter twice and heads toward the elevator. "Thanks, Jin."

Changbin comes back to the lobby for his ten minute intermission during Sooyoung's recording session and finds Hyunjin and Junseo in discussion, Junseo leaning over the desk to get closer to Hyunjin. He can't tell what they're saying, not by sound or by sight of their lips moving, but he sees Hyunjin lean up to accept a tender kiss and doesn't really need more context than that. He goes back to the studio.

He doesn't bring it up. None of them do. It isn't that things go back to normal by any means, because things have never been _normal_ here, but Changbin finds himself getting used to the constant strain again. He goes back to trying to be civil with Junseo, grinding away hours and hours at work to meet quotas he's confident he can reach, with or without his colleague. Days where Junseo doesn't even come into the studio are the best; Changbin polishes some of his independent projects, meets with some artists and gets things moving along with new albums and upcoming shows, lets Yoongi hear some of the stuff he's been working on and basks in the reminder that he's an asset to this company.

Hyunjin and his boyfriend haven't fought since the incident, at least not in front of Changbin. That's not to say that they don't still bicker, that he hasn't heard Junseo call Hyunjin out of his name at least one other time, that doors haven't been slammed and chairs shoved way too hard into desks. It's a song that Changbin has learned to tune out, but he offers Hyunjin little glances now and then to let him know he sees it, and he’s there if he needs him to be. The small, affirming nods Hyunjin gives back say he understands. 

It’s not the first altercation that Changbin has witnessed between them, but it’s the first he’s felt so… affected by, and he’s not sure where that came from. He’s always chalked them up to lover’s spats, disagreements that come with being in a relationship — at least, that’s how he knows relationships to be from his own experiences. He realizes that that’s just as toxic of a way of thinking as thinking it’s okay to fight with your boyfriend in public and expecting nothing to come of it. 

Perhaps it took for him to see someone else’s drama from the outside to appreciate that there’s not anything normal about it. When he was the one putting up with someone else’s bullshit every day or letting someone else put up with his own, that was simply just the way things were. He can recall being the one to tell others to mind _their_ own business. Funny how infuriating it is to hear it now.

•

Minding his own business gets harder to do when he gets put in the middle more and more as the fights at work start happening again. He’s not sure if they’ve got some issue going on outside of here and everything comes to the surface when they meet up at the studio, but he’s so beyond tired of it that he’s not sure how much longer he’s supposed to stay out of it. 

He’s finishing up a session with Yeonjun just after ten on a Wednesday, exhausted but feeling good about the work they’ve done. He dismisses him and assures him he’s excited to see him back here next week so they can tackle the ending of the final track. When he’s gone, Changbin spends a few more moments saving his work and answering a couple of emails before he grabs his coffee cup to go get a refill, prepared to stay here for as long as it takes to get what they’ve just recorded polished and ready to go. He steps out into the hallway and stops in his tracks when he hears the strain in Hyunjin’s voice down the hall and Junseo responding to it, the sign of another argument. Changbin sighs deeply through his nose.

He follows the sound of their shouting, leading him to the staff room where he was headed anyway. Stopping just outside, he presses his back to the wall and listens, half because he’s nosy and half because he wants to know if it’s worth interrupting to get coffee, or if he would be better off going to the corner store down the street. It sounds like a whole lot of nothing, petty shit about where Hyunjin was last night and Hyunjin skirting around an answer. 

“Why are you so fucking concerned about it? I could care less what _you_ do with _your_ friends.”

“I’m not trying to _fuck_ any of my friends.”

“And I’m not trying to fuck any of mine! Are you kidding me?”

Changbin rolls his eyes to himself and fidgets with one of his rings, listening for a moment longer before pushing off the wall and starting toward the elevator. He’s about to press the down button when the sound of something like a struggle steals his attention.

“Get away from me. Junseo— don’t fucking touch me!”

Changbin is in the staff room faster than he can even think about it. Hyunjin is standing with his back against the vending machine and Junseo is right in front of him, rigid in his body language as though Hyunjin had just pushed him off. With his back to the door, Junseo doesn’t seem to realize Changbin is there, but Hyunjin notices him immediately and stands up straighter, trying his hardest to look like nothing is happening.

“What the hell is going on?” Changbin asks, keeping his eyes on Junseo should he try anything else. “Junseo,” he says louder when he gets no answer. 

Hyunjin wraps his arms around himself, turning his head and looking off to the opposite side of the room, avoiding both Changbin’s worry and Junseo’s presence still leering over him. Junseo finally turns to look at Changbin and lifts a hand to rest on Hyunjin’s waist, but the blonde smacks it away, essentially pushing him farther away.

“We’re just talking, man,” Junseo finally says, the guilt of being caught all written all over his face.

“You can’t talk to him without putting your hands on him?”

Junseo flexes the fingers of the hand closest to Hyunjin, then shoves his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “Just go back to whatever you were doing, Changbin.”

Changbin blinks. He turns his attention to Hyunjin who looks so far beyond uncomfortable, ready to just sink through the floor in order to be anywhere but here. He still won’t look at either of them. “Hyunjin, are you okay?”

Junseo tries to interject but Changbin just repeats himself over top of him. Hyunjin nods, casting his eyes down to the pristine white of his sneakers.

“I’m going home,” he says, brushing his hair out of his face and resting his hand on the back of his neck. “I have homework.”

Hyunjin starts to slip away from Junseo but, begrudgingly, accepts what seems like a very inauthentic kiss on the cheek. The sight makes Changbin nauseous.

It’s silent as Hyunjin leaves the room, but he finally looks at Changbin on his way past him. The look they share is weighted. Hyunjin looks tired.

•

Hyunjin is definitely avoiding him. Over the next few days, he comes to check on them far less than usual, and Changbin’s not sure if that’s because he doesn’t want to interact with Junseo unless he absolutely has to, or because he’s embarrassed that Changbin saw such a vulnerable moment — again. He doesn’t run into him at the coffee machine anymore, and when Changbin passes by the reception desk, Hyunjin only peers up a little bit to see who it is, and then looks back down at whatever he’s doing when he realizes it’s just Changbin and not a client. It doesn’t hurt Changbin, so to speak, because he gets it. More than anything, he just wants to know that he’s okay.

Changbin takes the back door outside on his fifteen minute break so that he doesn’t have to go past the desk and fuck up Hyunjin’s day. He leans against the stone wall and takes out his pack of cigarettes, puts one in his mouth and lights it with some difficulty because his lighter’s running out of fluid. He stands there for a good five minutes just watching the traffic past, thinking about the record he needs to submit to Yoongi this weekend and what he’s going to have for dinner tonight.

The door swings open and Changbin expects it to be Junseo’s or Yoongi’s client, readying himself to bow his head in greeting. But it’s Hyunjin.

The blonde stops abruptly when he sees that Changbin is already out here, fight or flight ready to kick in. Changbin stares back at him for a moment but returns his attention to the street, willing to pretend they aren’t in the same space for the sake of Hyunjin’s comfort. The door is still open, meaning Hyunjin’s still holding onto it, deciding if he wants to stay outside or go back in.

“Sorry, I… didn’t know you were out here.” Hyunjin says. “Didn’t see you come out.”

“I went out the back.”

Hyunjin wavers for a moment, then lets the door shut. He comes to lean against the wall beside Changbin, his body deflating with a steady sigh. They don’t look at each other, and Changbin assumes they really are going to act like the other isn’t there. Minutes pass before he digs in his denim jacket for his cigarettes again, dropping the used butt of the one he’d just smoked and crushing it into the pavement with the sole of his boot. He pulls one out and slots it between his lips, and with a glance over to Hyunjin, he holds the pack out to him in offering.

“Thanks,” Hyunjin pulls one out and puts it in his mouth. Changbin fidgets with his lighter to get a flame going and lights his own cigarette before he turns slowly to Hyunjin, protecting the flame from the wind with the palm of his free hand. Hyunjin leans in toward him so that he can light his cigarette for him. Changbin can’t help but to observe his long eyelashes, the mole beneath one of his eyes while they’re so close together.

They pull apart and go back to their lazy positions against the wall, just clouds of cigarette smoke and the ambient noise of the city between them. There’s so much that Changbin wants to say or ask but he doesn’t know where to start. Doesn’t know the right way to say whatever he thinks he wants to say because he doesn’t want to scare him off. This is the most he’s gotten out of him in a while.

“How’s school?”

It’s the most innocuous way he can think of leading into conversation. Hyunjin pulls his cigarette from his mouth, holding it between two of his fingers and blowing out an even stream of smoke. “It’s okay. Finals are coming up soon.”

Changbin hums. “Are you nervous?”

Hyunjin shrugs a shoulder. “Not too much? I’ve been studying really hard. I’m kind of worried about my ethics exam, though. The professor is really tough.”

Changbin only attended a semester of university. Not nearly long enough to understand half the things he hears Hyunjin complain about, but he remembers the crushing feeling of being anxious for exams, for homework, for having to show up to class in general. Sometimes Changbin wonders if he decided to call it quits simply because school wasn’t for him, or because he couldn’t handle that kind of pressure and all of the expectations. 

“You’ll do great. You’re really smart,” he says, and when he glances at Hyunjin, he catches the ghost of a smile on his lips.

They fall back into silence that’s a lot more comfortable than before, a considerable amount of the tension between them seemingly melted away now that they’ve finally stopped tiptoeing around each other and talked. Not about the issue at hand, but it’s a start. Changbin’s happy to have gotten this far.

“I’m sorry you had to see that, the other day,” Hyunjin eventually says, just as Changbin is tossing his cigarette onto the ground and stomping it out. Hyunjin does the same, then stuffs his hands in the pockets of his bright red jacket. He sticks out like a sore thumb on the gloomy, post-rain street, especially next to Changbin shrouded in all black as usual. “I don’t like fighting in front of people. I don’t want you to feel like you have to get involved, ‘cause you don’t.”

Changbin tilts his head. “I know I don’t _have_ to. But it’s pretty hard to just stand by while someone you care about gets treated like shit.”

Hyunjin scuffs his shoe along a crack in the pavement. “It’s… he doesn’t always act like that. I know that’s probably hard to believe, but he’s not always awful.”

“Why would you want to be with someone that’s awful at all?”

Hyunjin starts to tense up, and Changbin can see he’s struck a nerve. The last thing he wants is for Hyunjin to feel like he’s getting marriage counseled or lectured and shut Changbin out again.

“I’m sorry. I know it’s not my place. I just think you deserve better than that.”

Hyunjin rests his head against the wall, looking up at the grey sky, and then at Changbin. “Thanks.”

Changbin decides to squash the tension before it goes back to the way it was before. He pulls open the door and steps aside so Hyunjin can go in first. “Good luck on your exam. You got this, kid.”

It turns out that he does, in fact, have it handled. On their way out of the building a couple of days later, Changbin asks him how he did, and with a bright smile Hyunjin reports to him his near perfect score. Changbin can’t help but to smile, too, and nudges him in the arm with his elbow playfully.

“That’s tight! You were so worried for nothing.”

Hyunjin laughs, and the sound is so refreshing to Changbin’s ears. “It wasn’t me. It was good luck.”

That night, Changbin calls around to a couple of florists to get a price on the pinkest flowers they have to offer. He pretends to be occupied with looking through mail as they’re delivered the next morning to an entirely unsuspecting Hyunjin, who accepts them with pure elation on his face when he finds out they’re for him. Hyunjin reads the note tucked into the ribbon around the vase, one that should say _Great job, princess_ signed from a Changbin that totally, definitely, absolutely does not care that much. 

The smile that Hyunjin gives him could eclipse the sun. 

•

Would it be wishful thinking to say that Changbin and Hyunjin have become something like friends? Maybe, but as much as Changbin is surprised by the twist, he likes the ground that he stands on with Hyunjin these days. He finds himself hanging out at the reception desk more than he ever did, taking longer smoke breaks just to talk with him outside, inviting him into the booth to let him mess around with the sound table whenever Junseo isn't there. If you’d asked Changbin five months ago where he thought he’d be with Hwang Hyunjin, he’d have told you to stop wasting his time. Now, though, Hwang Hyunjin is starting to become one of the best parts of his day.

His boyfriend is another story entirely; there’s no development to be had on that front. They have less projects to work on together now, left to complete just one rap EP with only three songs before they’re done with each other completely, until Yoongi assigns them to something else. The time away from him that he gets to spend working on his own stuff should make Changbin feel renewed, ready to take on the challenge that is Junseo with a clear head, and it mostly does, but Junseo has a special way of wearing him down so easily. 

“You have to pick one,” Changbin states, playing two very similar beat samples one after the other so Junseo can hear the differences. “I’m not remaking it again.”

Junseo twists idly in his chair, looking like he wants to be difficult, but he surprisingly concedes, “the first one.”

Changbin nods, promptly deleting the other one. “Thank you.”

There’s a knock on the door, and when Changbin calls for them to come in, Hyunjin pulls it open to pop his head in. He’s got his outerwear on, a gloved hand wrapped around the doorknob. 

“I’m going to go pick up those new speakers,” he says, then shakes his head cutely and corrects himself, “monitors. Not speakers. I’ll be back soon.” 

Changbin grins, impressed that he’s finally stopped calling them speakers after so many playful reminders from Changbin that calling them that is a desecration to the monitors’ integrity. “Cool. Have fun.”

Junseo tips his head backwards towards Hyunjin, a gesture to Changbin. “Go with him. Make sure he gets the right ones.”

Hyunjin and Changbin both narrow their eyes at him. “We already put the order in for them. They’re not going to be the wrong ones? He literally just has to pick them up,” Changbin frowns, sharing a questioning look with Hyunjin. 

“Can you just go? He got the wrong cables last time. He needs supervision.”

Hyunjin opens his mouth in protest. “Those were the only ones they had in stock! You said it wasn’t a big d—”

Changbin gets up from his seat, grabbing his coat from where it’s draped over the sofa. Either this is all just a ploy to get him to leave so Junseo can work on the track alone, or he has some daily quota to meet for making Hyunjin upset. Whatever it is, Changbin’s not in the mood for it. “S’okay, Jin, I’ll come. You want me to drive?”

Hyunjin huffs, tossing an eye roll Junseo’s way and walking out of the room. “Sure.”

Changbin hangs outside of the store to have a cigarette and lets Hyunjin pick up the order himself. He holds the door for him, though, when he sees him lugging the big box away from the checkout counter. Hyunjin thanks him and follows him to the curb where Changbin holds the back door of his car open, too. 

“Did you get the right ones?” he teases, hurrying away from Hyunjin to get to the driver’s side door before he can reach out and try to shove him. They get back in his car and Changbin immediately turns the heat on, shivering at the change in temperature and pulling away from the store while Hyunjin messes with the radio.

While they’re out of the studio on the clock and equipped with the company’s credit card, Changbin has the idea to grab food before they head back. They brave the cold to stand in line for tteokbokki and then run back to eat it in Changbin’s car, listening to one of the rap albums from his CD collection that he keeps in the console. They talk quite a lot but Changbin doesn’t think he’ll be able to remember what about when he thinks back on it later. But it’s nice. He enjoys their little talks.

Hyunjin stops eating for a long moment, working on chewing through the huge bite of food he’d stuffed in his mouth and staring out the window. When he gets it down, he finally speaks, “why do you think Jun wants me to be supervised all the time?”

Changbin pauses his own chewing, looking over at Hyunjin and studying his profile, curious of the sudden question.

“Because he thinks everyone is dumb except him. Which is hilarious.”

Hyunjin exhales through his nose, a soft laugh. He shakes his head. “Or is it just me?”

Changbin’s appetite shrinks, and he’s not so sure it’s because he’s full. He sets his bowl on the space behind his steering wheel and leans back in his seat. “You’re not dumb, Hyunjin. At all.”

“So why does he treat me like I am?”

Changbin clears his throat as he thinks for a moment. “Honestly? I think he’s threatened by how smart you are. Like,” he shifts in his seat, “like he thinks that if you realize how smart you are, then you’ll also realize you don’t need him. So he tries to belittle you all the time. It’s fucked up.”

Hyunjin is quiet as he mulls that over. He ends up nodding in agreement, but the movement is unsure. “I guess that makes sense.”

“He’s a lot older than you, right?” Changbin has an epiphany, then, that he’s not sure how old Hyunjin even is. “How old are you, again?”

Hyunjin glares at him like he’s definitely told Changbin this before. “I’m twenty-two.”

“Right. For sure. I was just seeing if you remembered,” he grins, earning himself an eye roll. “But, yeah. He’s a lot older than you, like, ten years or something? I think that’s common when older guys date younger people. They wanna feel wise and mature so bad. Like you need them, or something. So that’s probably why he treats you like a baby.”

“But you’re older than me, too. And you don’t treat me like that.”

“I’m only three years older than you. I’m not _that_ old.”

Hyunjin makes a playfully disgusted face. “I don’t know, that’s pretty fuckin’ old.”

“Yah,” Changbin exclaims, pointing to Hyunjin’s door, “out my car.”

He’s thankful for the fit of laughter that follows and the way that it alleviates the melancholy that was starting to settle over Hyunjin. The time on the clock tells him they should really go back to work now, and when Hyunjin comes back from dumping their trash in a nearby garbage bin, he starts back toward the studio.

They’re sitting at a stop light when Changbin bites the bullet to say, “Don’t let him get to you, okay? You’ve got your whole life ahead of you. Don’t let this dumbass make you doubt yourself. Seriously.”

He gets a smile for that, and counts it as a win in his efforts to undo whatever the hell Junseo’s done to Hyunjin’s head. They part in the lobby and Changbin carries the monitors upstairs to put them away. If he sees them making eyes at each other later in the day and kissing when they think no one is looking, he hopes that Hyunjin at least has a better understanding of what he wants going forward. 

Changbin really doesn’t know when he started caring so damn much.

•

It’s been a minute since their last public quarrel, so when Changbin hears Hyunjin and Junseo going at it in the booth, he has some kind of PTSD response and jumps into action. He’d only left for a few minutes to use the restroom, so he’s not sure what could have gone down so quickly. But by the shrill pitch of Hyunjin’s voice and the volume of Jun’s, he figures it’s serious this time. As serious as any of their petty arguments can get.

He lingers outside of the door like he usually does, not wanting to barge in if he doesn’t absolutely have to. It sounds like Hyunjin’s pissed that Junseo forgot about something, and this was the wrong thing to forget about. He sounds far more angry than Changbin thinks he’s ever heard — enraged, even.

“I’ve been asking you to take me out for weeks. Fucking _weeks!_ Why do I have to beg you for an ounce of your time? When your stupid fucking friends ask if you want to go to the bar or party or whatever the fuck it’s no problem but I have to get on my goddamn knees for you to pay me some attention. What the _fuck!_ ”

“I told you we’ll do something next weekend, Hyunjin—”

“No! You said we would tonight! And now your friends come first _again!_ You expect me to come running whenever you want to fuck me, but I have to make a reservation in your schedule to get some fucking dinner. You’ve got to be fucking kidding!”

Junseo scoffs. “You sound really crazy right now. It’s not a good look.”

Hyunjin makes a pressurized noise, like he’s trying his hardest not to lose his mind. “I sound crazy. Right! I sound crazy because you drive me crazy, Junseo, you drive me fucking insane.”

It’s quiet for a long moment. There’s the muffled sound of fabric, like Junseo’s pulling on his coat. “Then leave,” he says, voice unnervingly even. When Changbin looks up to peer into the open door, he sees Junseo standing before Hyunjin, towering over him, making him look so tiny. “But you won’t. You’ll wait up for me, hm? And when I call you to bring your ass over, you’ll be there. Just like you always are.”

Junseo leans in to steal a kiss from Hyunjin’s quivering lips, entirely unaffected by the fact the Hyunjin’s beginning to cry. “Love you,” Junseo says, and then breezes out the door. He glances Changbin’s way but offers him nothing. He calls the elevator and leaves Changbin standing there stunned silent.

He doesn’t know what to do. Does he go after Junseo and knock his lights out first? 

He follows the sound of Hyunjin’s muted sobs, reminded that Junseo is the least important thing in this universe at any given time, but especially right now. Changbin taps two knuckles on the open door to alert his entrance before he steps inside. Hyunjin stands there in the middle of the room, his arms folded tightly across his chest and his face red with how hard he’s crying. When he realizes that Changbin is there, he turns around so his back is to the older, body trembling as another soft sob slips out.

Changbin thinks he’s witnessed a lot in terms of how dysfunctional Hyunjin’s relationship with his boyfriend is, but this feels so much different. Like, no matter how serious things seemed before, he could never have grasped just how serious they really are.

“Hyun, I—” Changbin tries, stepping closer to him. He dares to reach a hand out and rest it gently on his shoulder, apprehensive as though he’s touching a burning stovetop. “I’m…”

Hyunjin shakes his head, scrubbing the heel of one of his palms against his eyes to stop the tears. “It’s okay,” he snivels, taking a few agitated breaths in an attempt to calm down. “Please, don’t—”

“Hyunjin, that’s not… that’s _not_ fucking okay. It’s not. How much longer are you going to keep telling yourself that that shit is okay?”

“For as long as it takes.”

Changbin narrows his eyes in disbelief. “As long as it takes for what?” 

“For him to understand I’m worth more than this.”

“He should already understand that, Hyunjin. He’s had so much fucking time to understand that. Why are you wasting your time?”

“I’m _not_. I don’t… I don’t fucking know what else to do.”

Changbin shakes his head, closing his eyes and sitting down at his sound table. He doesn't know what he could possibly say in this moment that would get through Hyunjin's head any better than anything else he's ever said. He knows he's starting to sound like a broken record and if he keeps pushing it, Hyunjin's going to throw him out. The last thing he wants is for Hyunjin to push him away when all he wants to do is help. To make him understand and realize what he deserves — something so far from this.

"And I don't know what else to tell you, Hyunjin."

The silence between them lasts for a long, painful moment. The clock hanging on the wall ticks loudly.

"I don't know why I thought talking to you would be a good idea," Hyunjin spits from where he's standing by the door, voice going high like it does when he fights with Junseo except Junseo isn't here and Changbin's not trying to be his replacement. Not like that, at least. "You could at least _pretend_ to fucking care."

He turns in his chair, disbelief painting his features. As if he hasn't been worrying about Hyunjin to the point it's hard to fucking sleep sometimes, as if it's easy to sit back and watch him take bullshit from all sides, as if he hasn't done what he can without invading Hyunjin's privacy. What more is he supposed to do when Hyunjin won't let him? "Are you serious? You're actually fucking joking, right?"

Hyunjin cards his fingers through his blonde hair and grips, turning away from Changbin to face the door for a moment in his frustration. When he spins back to Changbin he's on the edge of outrage, eyes wide and cheeks as pink as the velvet scrunchie on his wrist. "No, I'm not fucking joking! I get that this is annoying and repetitive but I'm the one that has to live it, okay? I'm fucking trying. I couldn't be trying any god damn harder."

Changbin looks away from Hyunjin to a spot on the floor, tensing and untensing his jaw. "It doesn't seem like you are."

"What did you just say?"

Changbin dares to meet his eyes. They're unreadable, a surge of resentment and sadness that cuts Changbin like a knife. Maybe he needs to hear it, something harsh to make him understand. Maybe it's not Changbin's place to try and hand him a reality check, but Hyunjin's making it his place. He wants Changbin to _care_ but he has no idea how much he already does.

"It doesn't seem like you're trying," he says louder, unwilling to break their eye contact.

"Fuck you," Hyunjin bites, voice sounding tight. If Changbin looks at him hard enough, he can see how his eyes are starting to go cloudy again but he blinks it away furiously. "How dare you look me in my fucking face and say that to me. You don't know what I go through. _Fuck you_ , Changbin."

Changbin gets up from his seat and starts for the door. At the end of the day, he knows it isn’t his place to tell Hyunjin how he feels, or should feel, no matter how frustrating watching the truth unfold is. He seems like the asshole here and perhaps he is, considering that all of his endeavors to somehow help Hyunjin have failed, are still failing, and are inevitably going to fail again. There’s only so much that he can do to help someone that doesn’t want to be helped. "You're right."

Hyunjin struggles to keep his voice stable and condemning when he watches Changbin pull the door open. "So you're just going to leave? That's it?"

The door is open for all of a second before Changbin's slamming it shut and turning to Hyunjin who's mere inches from him. He takes a step back to keep some distance between them, but it's hard in the tiny booth. "What the fuck do you want me to say, Hyunjin? How much more can I say when you don't listen? I try to help you and you shut me out like I'm meddling in your business so _what do you want_? You say you're done with him one day and then everything is fine the next and you still say you're trying." He realizes he's been talking with his hands, held out in front of him until he puts them down to his sides. " _You_ don't care. You can't even stand up for yourself."

It's amazing how quick Changbin's reflexes move in that moment as Hyunjin lifts his hand, bringing it back so he can swing, but Changbin manages to grab him by the wrist before he can strike.

Changbin would have deserved it. _Does_ deserve it because there's no way in hell he should have said that. A slap across the face is the least of what he should get from Hyunjin for that. But he can't make his mouth say he's sorry, say what else he thinks, say anything because of the way he and Hyunjin are staring each other down. There's something different in Hyunjin's face now — like he's conflicted.

"Let go," he says, trying to pull his arm from Changbin's grip and when he doesn't let him go, he raises his other hand to try to slap him again, shove him, perhaps even deck him in the jaw but Changbin grabs that wrist, too.

The struggle brings them nearly chest to chest and although Hyunjin's a little taller, he hardly seems bigger. Changbin's voice is low, a challenge just between them, when he says, "you really wanna hit me?"

The tears that have welled up in Hyunjin's eyes are threatening to spill over, and when one gets loose and slips past the beauty mark beneath his eye, Changbin's heart cracks down the middle. He loosens his hold on Hyunjin's thin wrists but the younger doesn't make any attempt to separate from him. "I hate you," he whispers.

"Okay. You can hate me." Changbin swallows down those words with difficulty. "I hope you don't hate anyone more than you should hate him. He doesn't deserve one fucking bit of you."

"He's the only one that wants me."

Changbin shakes his head, barely a movement. Hyunjin can't seem to meet his eyes as Changbin cautiously leans his forehead against his. If he listens hard enough in the deafening silence, he can hear Changbin murmur, "that's not true."

It's not that Hyunjin's gaze has softened, but when he finally looks back at Changbin, something is different. Almost like he’s inviting Changbin to touch the burning stovetop. To put his whole hand on it. To take that risk.

Hyunjin finally pulls his arms from Changbin's grasp so that he can rest his hands on his chest, curling his fingertips into the fabric of his shirt before sliding his palms to rest on the sides of his neck. He lets out a soft sob similar to the first one Changbin ever heard him make tonight, bottom lip quivering with the effort it takes to try and hold it in, and Changbin's hands move to cup his cheeks so he can catch his tears with his thumbs. "That's not true," he repeats, even softer. Then he and Hyunjin are surging in at the same moment, lips crushing against each other.

It's hesitant at first, an apprehensive push and pull between two people that know they shouldn't be doing this but gravity is too strong. Hyunjin's hands on Changbin's shoulders can't seem to decide if they want to pull him closer or push him off, but he pushes his mouth harder against Changbin's and makes the choice for them. When Changbin presses back just as hard, fingers curling into the material of Hyunjin's sweater at his waist, Hyunjin stumbles back and lets himself get pressed up against the wall.

Changbin would be lying if he said he'd never thought about what Hyunjin's lips would taste like, or feel like against his own. They're not as sticky as his lip gloss would suggest but they're soft, so plush and smooth as they move in sync with his own. They taste like artificial cherry when Changbin dips his tongue out to run along the seam of them, and Hyunjin grants him access almost immediately with his hands cupping the back of Changbin's neck to keep them glued together. He clings to him like he's afraid Changbin will change his mind or disappear — as if there's anywhere else in the world Changbin would rather be than in this moment.

Hyunjin starts to clumsily unbutton Changbin's shirt from the top and it brings Changbin back down to earth. He's lost in the feeling of Hyunjin's body up against his and his sweet-smelling perfume and his candy-coated kiss but the newfound feeling of Hyunjin's hands on his bare chest reminds him that this is real and not just another loaded daydream. He pulls back from their kiss and Hyunjin tries to follow his lips, tipping his head when Changbin attaches his mouth to his neck. The soft sound that leaves him is almost as pretty as he is.

"What do you want, Hyunjin?" Changbin whispers, hooking his fingers in the belt loops of Hyunjin's jeans. His teeth and tongue are tempted to sink into his soft skin, to leave a mark that says _I was here_ , but he pulls back before he loses control. He reconnects their mouths hastily, parting his so that Hyunjin can lick into it.

"I want you," Hyunjin breathes, "Please, Changbin."

Changbin detaches only so he can take Hyunjin's hand and walk backwards, leading him to the other side of the room where he can plop down on the beat-up leather sofa against the wall. He looks up at Hyunjin with his lip between his teeth and rubs over his thigh with his free hand, all the invitation Hyunjin needs to straddle his lap with his arms around his neck. The way they kiss is somehow more desperate than before, if that were even possible.

Hyunjin is panting and whimpering and Changbin has barely even done anything to him yet, just ran his hands all over his body, stuck them in his back pockets and encouraged him to rock his hips against his own. A particularly hard thrust on top of him makes Changbin moan, too, and he runs his palms along Hyunjin's sides beneath his sweater. He watches Hyunjin pull back and grip the hem of it, stripping it off with an arched back and dropping it on the floor.

Hwang Hyunjin is gorgeous; that much has always been obvious. He doesn't tend to wear particularly form-fitting clothes, usually opting for loose sweaters and comfortable pants, and even though Changbin had no idea what to expect beneath them, the man sitting on top of him is beyond anything he could have imagined. He's both hard and soft lines, delicate muscles and tiny freckles. Changbin dares to reach out, leaving his touch all over before thumbing over one of his pebbled, brown nipples and eliciting a shiver from him.

"Look at you," Changbin murmurs, leaning forward and rolling his tongue over it, sucking on it until Hyunjin's gasping, and then he switches to give the other the same treatment. He mouths his way back up to Hyunjin's swollen lips. "Fucking beautiful."

Hyunjin's body language goes bashful under Changbin's praise. He seems to curl further into Changbin's body, body to body like he wants to melt right into him, as if he's trying to distract him with his lewd kisses so Changbin can't say anything else. The way he sucks on Changbin's tongue has the older bucking up into him and squeezing his waist tighter, and with a smirk he slides out of Changbin's lap so that he can kneel before him on the ground, tucked between his legs.

Hyunjin makes quick work of Changbin's belt and fly, mouthing over the skin just above the waist of his boxers as he palms over his erection. Changbin settles against the back of the sofa with an arm slung over the top of it and his other hand brushing Hyunjin's hair out of his face every time it slips forward. The blonde dips his hand into his boxers and pulls Changbin's cock out, eying it like he's starving, like it's the eighth wonder of the world before licking his pink lips and stamping wet kisses all along the length. He takes Changbin into his mouth and starts sucking what he can, stroking what won't fit with his long fingers. The overhead lights catch on the silver of his rings.

Changbin is torn between throwing his head back with the pleasure that comes with Hyunjin's skilled mouth and keeping his eyes trained on him so he can watch the way he takes his cock until he gags and bobs his head like he's on a mission. He doesn't even know all the things that turn Changbin on, that get him close to the edge, and yet he's dragging him there faster than Changbin was prepared for. He chances a look down at Hyunjin and finds him looking back at him with watery, unfocused eyes.

"Slow down, baby," Changbin manages, and the name tastes so forbidden on his tongue but so sweet. He pushes Hyunjin's hair back again and watches him pull off his cock just to give lollipop licks to the glistening head. "You're gonna make me come."

Hyunjin swallows, the sound wet with too much saliva and precum. "Want to. Want you to."

An unsure little pout settles on Hyunjin's face, lips red and glistening. Changbin furrows his eyebrows as he studies that look. If anything, if this is a one-and-done and they never do or talk about this again, Changbin wants Hyunjin to know that _he's_ wanted, not just whatever he thinks he can offer him. Changbin's not here to receive.

"I want you to come, too," Changbin says, thumbing over Hyunjin's cheekbone. There's a slight shimmer of champagne colored pigment on his eyelids that he hadn't noticed before, so pretty against the brown of his eyes. "Want to make you feel good."

The faraway look in Hyunjin's eyes says he's trying to read the invitation to make sure he's not misunderstanding. He has to know what Changbin's insinuating, but Changbin isn't the one making decisions here. They're only going to go as far as Hyunjin wants, do as much as Hyunjin says is okay and if giving Changbin a blowjob and calling it a day is as far as he's willing to go, Changbin's okay with that.

Hyunjin stands before Changbin and starts unbuckling his own belt, popping the button and pushing his corduroys down until he can step out of them and kick them toward his discarded shirt. He holds Changbin’s gaze as he hooks his thumbs in the band of his underwear and pulls those down, too, taking them off and carelessly dropping them on the floor. Seeing Hyunjin standing there, completely bare just for him in his studio — the studio he shares with Hyunjin's _boyfriend_ — makes Changbin's cock throb.

Once Hyunjin takes his seat back on Changbin's lap, they’re back to kissing with Changbin's hands kneading the fat of Hyunjin's ass, letting Hyunjin grind their bare cocks together in search of that delicious friction that makes the younger moan out loud.

"What do you want?" Changbin asks again, only willing to take this as far as Hyunjin wants. If he's going to do anything here, he needs Hyunjin's permission first.

"Want you," Hyunjin responds just as he had before, just as wrecked and insistent. "Inside."

Changbin lifts his hips as much as he can with Hyunjin glued to him, reaching into his back pocket to grab his wallet. At the same time, Hyunjin bends to grab his bag just out of reach and dig through it, pulling his wallet out, too. Changbin goes to grab a condom and a packet of lube and stops in his tracks when he sees Hyunjin do the same, foil wrapper and a little bottle in his hand. It's half empty with a strawberry on the label. They look at each other.

Hyunjin looks him up and down, from the items he's holding to his curious eyes. "Who else are you fucking?"

With raised brows, Changbin zeroes in on Hyunjin's own stuff. Knowing he just has this on hand and, beyond that, that his lube of choice is _flavored_ when he knows how much Hyunjin likes sweet things, makes Changbin's stomach churn. How often is he spontaneously fucking Junseo to be prepared like this? For the bottle to be _that_ used? It's as much his business as his sex life is Hyunjin's. He looks up at the man in his lap. "Who else are _you_ fucking?"

Hyunjin deadpans. "Seriously?" He pushes the bottle and the condom into Changbin's hand, shaking his head. "Fuck you, Seo Changbin."

Changbin can't help but grin, setting the condom aside and popping the cap on the lube. "That's the plan, isn't it?"

He tries to make quick work of fingering Hyunjin, but gets lost in watching him fall apart, appreciating how responsive and sensitive he is to every sensation that hits him. His little whimpers and high pitched sounds, the way his nose wrinkles and how he eagerly rolls down to meet his thrusts only makes him want to take his sweet time working him open. He has to wonder if Hyunjin's not used to it — preparation as foreplay rather than a necessary hassle before the point. Changbin gently rubs three fingers against his prostate and watches him crumble and cry out like he's never felt anything like it.

"You're so gorgeous, Hyunjin," Changbin mutters, biting at his full bottom lip. "You're a fucking dream."

Hyunjin rests his forehead against Changbin's and adjusts on his lap with one hand on the producer's shoulder and the other reaching behind him to take hold of the base of his cock. He brings the head of it to his hole, his breath trembling as the tip presses in. He grips Changbin's shoulder tighter. "H-Have you ever dreamt about this, baby?"

The overwhelming heat that engulfs his cock as it sinks into Hyunjin renders Changbin speechless. Of course he has. He's imagined having Hyunjin in positions and situations just like this one and vastly different, jerked himself off to guilty orgasms that made it hard to look Hyunjin in the eyes the next day. He's thought about his lips and his hands, his long legs, the cute noises he makes throughout the day and the possibility of drawing impossibly cuter ones from him. Changbin rests his head back against the sofa and holds onto the blonde's lithe waist as he starts bouncing in earnest, making the most adorable sounds Changbin thinks he's ever heard.

"I have," Hyunjin sighs, burying into Changbin's shoulder and sinking his teeth into the warm skin there. "I a-always... oh, _shit,_ Changbin—"

Changbin loves the sound of that. He bucks up into Hyunjin and heightens the sound of skin slapping against skin. Hyunjin can't keep quiet and Changbin doesn't want him to, hoping to every higher power that the nightly cleaning crew have already left or are really good at minding their own business. "Why would you be dreaming about me, huh? Doesn't he fuck you well enough?"

Hyunjin plants his feet on the sofa so he can drop down onto Changbin's cock harder and faster, assisted by Changbin's grip on his thighs. He tips his head back and his blonde hair falls out of his face, showing off his jaw and the expanse of his neck that exhibits a faint bite mark here, a pink print there. He drops a smack onto Hyunjin's ass when he doesn't answer him, fucking more heavily up into him.

" _Ah_ ," Hyunjin whines at the impact, leaning back and gripping Changbin's thighs behind him for support. "F-fuck, Changbin, _fuck!_ "

Changbin lets him ride him for countless more minutes before he's lifting Hyunjin off of him by the hips, pressing a hot kiss onto his open mouth.

"Get on your knees for me," he says, helping the younger move to get on his hands and knees on the couch. Hyunjin looks back at him with blown pupils, chest heaving as he reaches back to spread himself open as an invitation for Changbin to keep going.

"C'mon, _fuck me_."

Changbin lines up with his hole again and pushes back in, knocking the wind out of both of them. He picks up a quick, steady pace in no time, fingers threaded into Hyunjin's hair so he can push his face into the sofa with his ass up in the air. "Does he fuck you like this, princess?"

Hyunjin just sobs, dragging his fingers through the split leather and exposed stuffing of the couch as he searches for something to hold onto. He's writhing in Changbin's hold, crying out his name and begging for _more, harder._ Changbin bends down to press his chest to Hyunjin's back, kissing and nipping at his ear as he drives his cock deeper into him, now sliding against his prostate judging by the way Hyunjin's moans grow louder and more delirious.

Changbin reaches down to take Hyunjin's weeping dick into his hand, jerking him quickly and ripping a visceral reaction from him that has him squirming and convulsing underneath Changbin. He wails with it, slapping his hand down on the leather like he can't take it anymore, like he's tapping out. Changbin wonders if he's ever felt so good.

"How are you gonna go back to his cock after mine, huh? How are you gonna forget this?"

It sends Hyunjin over the edge. His body stiffens and he lets out a broken whimper, spilling over Changbin's hand and onto the leather beneath them in spurts that keep coming as Changbin fucks him through it. The way he tightens around Changbin and starts weakly bucking backwards to meet his thrusts has the elder filling the condom moments later, riding out his orgasm as Hyunjin whispers _don't stop, don't stop_.

There's only heavy breathing and that clock ticking away the seconds that they lay there, bodies heaving against each other on the uncomfortable, sticky surface of Junseo's raggedy sofa. Changbin waits for the guilt to set in.

It doesn't.

When their breathing has evened out, Changbin nuzzles his nose over Hyunjin's shoulder blade and gets off of him, pulling the soiled condom off of himself and tying it off. Hyunjin reaches his arms out in front of him and stretches like a cat before he gets up, too, digging through his bag for something. He pulls out a packet of wet wipes and cleans himself off, then the sofa, then offers a wipe to Changbin.

They get dressed in silence and Changbin can't help but glance over at Hyunjin, admiring the way he fixes himself in his compact mirror, correcting his hair and smudged makeup like nothing even happened. He catches Changbin looking and the smallest of smiles quirks at his bruised lips. Changbin looks away with a smile of his own, adjusting the cuffs of his leather jacket.

He offers to take Hyunjin home, and Hyunjin happily accepts, helping him lock up the studio before they leave for the parking lot.

Changbin's never been to Hyunjin's house and relies on Hyunjin to give him directions there. He's not surprised when they end up in a suburb outside of town, gated and all, following the road down to a cul de sac. He parks in front of a home that has him feeling a little starstruck when he thinks about his own shoebox apartment but he expected nothing less for Hyunjin. He picks at a thread in his steering wheel cover as Hyunjin fidgets with his house keys.

"Hey," the blonde says, drawing Changbin's eyes up to him. The look in his eyes is something soft, a little bit vulnerable. Changbin tries to decipher it, but before he can get a good read Hyunjin's leaning in and stealing a gentle kiss. It's slow and tender, the slightest bit of tongue slipping in the longer it goes on, and to say that Changbin's stomach merely stirs would be an understatement. It makes him feel a little dizzy, skin burning beneath Hyunjin's palm on his cheek.

Hyunjin pulls away first. He brushes his fingers over Changbin's mussed hair to fix it up and gives him that shy grin again. His face is a little pink, too, and he opens his door to get out. "I'll see you later," he says, slipping out of the car.

Changbin nods, shy all over as well. He leans back against his seat and watches Hyunjin close the door, and says only loudly enough that he can hear him through the open window, "goodnight, princess."

•

It's not that the next few days at the studio are _awkward_ , so to speak. The air is definitely charged with a new kind of energy, but it doesn't feel negative. If anything, Changbin's a little more excited to come in to work so he and Hyunjin can find new ways to skirt around each other and make eyes across the room like some kind of secret language.

It starts with hushed little _good mornings_ and shy smiles and Hyunjin being timid when he slips in the room to tell them that someone booked a new appointment or that there's a call up at the front desk. He'll glance at Changbin with a question in his eyes that Changbin answers with a small head nod and a quirk of his lips, and with a new sense of knowing, Hyunjin will leave the room with a slyness in his step. That's where the game begins.

Uphill from there, Hyunjin starts leaving lingering touches on Changbin's shoulder or his lower back or his arm, Changbin finds himself staring for too long at Hyunjin's mouth while he talks and Hyunjin licks his lips because he knows. If Hyunjin starts leaning against Changbin's chair when he's briefing them on today's schedule instead of Junseo's like he usually does, Junseo doesn't notice. It's shocking that Junseo doesn't notice much of anything — not the subtle change in the tone they use with each other or how eye contact between them has gone up exponentially.

Sometimes, after Hyunjin has left and Changbin's feeling the tingle of excitement in his bones from flirting right in front of his boyfriend, Changbin will look over at him and think, _you fucking idiot. You fool. You have no idea._

If only he knew about how he gets Hyunjin pressed up against the counters in the staff room, lips on his neck and hands down his jeans. How Hyunjin drops to his knees in the bathroom for him, or how Changbin fingered him within an inch of his life on one of their lunch breaks. 

On a day where Junseo isn't scheduled to come in, Hyunjin asks if he can sit with Changbin while he works on polishing a track even though he's on his lunch break. Of course Changbin says he can, but he's as nervous about being alone with Hyunjin as he is eager. Although things have felt good between them, _great_ even, they haven't talked about what’s happening. He knows that they need to, even if it's just to discuss that they both enjoy it and it should definitely keep happening, but he doesn't want to initiate a conversation that might make Hyunjin uncomfortable. But he will if he has to.

Hyunjin slinks into the room with two coffees in his hands, still bundled in his coat and scarf from braving the Seoul winter to grab lunch. He sneaks up behind Changbin and nudges him with his elbow, saying _boo!_ and making Changbin jump hard enough to knock an in-ear headphone out and into a fold of his sweater. He looks up to find Hyunjin smiling brightly down at him, crescent eyes and cold-bitten, rosy cheeks. Changbin's heart isn't beating fast just from the scare.

"Oh my god," Changbin exhales, laughing at his own dramatics and slumping in his chair. "You almost gave me a heart attack."

Hyunjin giggles and leans forward to set Changbin's coffee on his desk, sure to steer clear of the equipment and the few notebooks sprawled out. "Sorry," he grins, setting his own coffee on Junseo's desk before pulling off his scarf and unzipping his coat so he can hang them on the rack by the door. Changbin watches him smoothe out his clothes and tuck his hair behind his ears, looking so cozy in a sweatshirt that's at least three sizes too big and jeans tighter than Changbin's used to seeing him in. He tries not to let his eyes linger on Hyunjin's ass when he goes to sit down, but the smirk on Hyunjin's face says he knows. "How's it going?"

Changbin idly swivels his chair in an arc as he clicks around on his computer, humming in consideration. "Pretty good. Just need to do some work on the last chorus and then it'll be good to go." Hyunjin hums, too, taking his coffee into both hands and gently pushing some cords and wires out of the way of his chair wheels so he can scoot closer to Changbin.

"Aw, and here I was, coming to encourage you if you were having a hard time," Hyunjin says against the brim of his cup before he takes a sip. A subtle glance and mirrored smirks.

"I can always use the encouragement."

Hyunjin giggles again, and the sound goes straight to Changbin's heart. "I'm sure you could."

Changbin lets them have a brief staring contest until they're both laughing at how ridiculous they're being with their clandestine flirting. Whereas Hyunjin's usually the one offering playful touches to get Changbin's attention, now it's Changbin reaching across the small space between them to rest the back of his hand on Hyunjin's shoulder. "Is everything... are we good?"

It's the most subtle way he can think of to lead into the matter at hand, and Hyunjin's aware of what he's getting at, but he doesn't recoil or brace himself or anything of the sort. He drapes one leg over the other and gets more comfortable in his chair.

Hyunjin removes one hand from his cup so that he can bring it up to grab onto Changbin's, loosely lacing their fingers together. "We're good."

Changbin rattles their interlocked hands and then squeezes. He squints challengingly at Hyunjin who's still smiling so softly at him. "You sure?"

"Of course I'm sure."

"You've been okay, then?" Changbin brings Hyunjin's knuckles to his mouth so he can brush his lips lightly over them, and Hyunjin's breath seems to catch in his throat as he does. The blonde nods.

"I've been really good. Things have felt... yeah, good. I feel happy."

Changbin presses a proper kiss to the back of Hyunjin's hand before he whispers, "good sex will do that to you."

Hyunjin barks out a laugh and pulls his hand out of Changbin's so he can shove him playfully in the chest. "Go to hell, Seo Changbin."

The scene becomes familiar, Changbin handing Hyunjin the extra set of earphones and playing the track for him, getting his uninformed but incredibly helpful feedback, and then allowing him to play around on the controls to try his hand at production. The only difference between now and then is that Changbin's got his hand on Hyunjin's thigh all the while, mindlessly rubbing his thumb over the inseam of his jeans, and they’re alone indefinitely. Junseo isn’t going to come barging in, and that fact might be the driving force behind the more heated glances they're sharing now, or their mouths gravitating toward each other, or Hyunjin's hand coming down to guide Changbin's higher up his inseam.

Hyunjin is running his tongue over Changbin's lip and Changbin is working on popping the button of Hyunjin’s pants as best as he can with one hand. They’re so enveloped in making out, so slow and wet and deliberate, that they don’t hear the first few rings of the telephone on Junseo’s desk. Hyunjin groans when Changbin pulls away to reach across and answer it, but takes advantage of Changbin’s bared neck and peppers kisses along it. 

“Your four o’clock is here,” Seungmin, Yoongi’s assistant and Hyunjin’s lunchtime coverage at the reception desk, says softly when Changbin picks up. “Do you know where Hyunjin is? It’s time for my break. I’m hungry.”

Changbin makes a surprised little noise, partially because of the reminder of how time got away from them, and partially because of how Hyunjin is biting at the skin of his neck right now. “Shit, yeah, he’s um— he was just helping me with something. Sending him down now.” Changbin smirks at the quiet whine Hyunjin makes against his jaw. “Sorry, Seungmin.”

They pull apart after another handful of kisses, Changbin gazing at Hyunjin fondly and brushing his curtain bangs out of his pretty face. The smile resting on Hyunjin’s kiss-pink lips looks so content, and the look in his brown eyes is so tender that it makes Changbin’s gut feel tight. He feels so shy beneath Hyunjin’s amorous eye contact that he can’t help but giggle awkwardly, looking away from him and pushing his rolling chair back a couple of feet. Hyunjin barks out a surprised laugh.

“What?” he asks, getting up and draping himself over Changbin, cupping his face so he can press kisses all over it, making the older giggle even more and try to push him away, turning red. “Why are you being so cute suddenly? Huh?”

“Stop,” Changbin gripes in the midst of his graceless laughter, pulling his head away from the onslaught of Hyunjin’s bubbly affection. “Get out of here!”

Hyunjin smiles brightly, squishing Changbin’s cheeks up with one of his big hands and pecking Changbin’s puckered lips. He grabs his coffee and his outerwear before he heads to the door, slipping out of the room with a sweet, “later, babe.”

•

Changbin thanks the bartender and slides them a few thousand won as a tip before he turns away, two beers in one hand as he tucks his wallet back into his jeans with a bit of struggle due to the tightness of the denim. He squeezes through the crowd to get back toward the front and holds a beer out to Jisung when he gets there, clinking the neck of his own bottle against Jisung's and taking a drink. The venue is more packed than Changbin anticipated, but he supposes their new marketing manager is to thank; her dedication to spreading the word of am/pm's newest acts before their EPs release in a couple of weeks has paid off more than they could have asked for. He makes a mental note to get her flowers or something to thank her.

"What's the next band like?" Jisung leans over to speak into Changbin's ear so he can hear him over all of the people, the music playing overhead, and the sound of the stagehands setting up for the next act. Changbin had helped put the setlist together for each band considering they're his ongoing projects, making him something like a pseudo-manager.

"They're young, oldest is nineteen. They're more synthpop? Total one-eighty from the last guys," Changbin tips his head toward the synthesizer one of the stagehands rolled out, sitting toward the front of the stage. "You might not vibe with them, they're not really your style. But they're pretty good. Yoongi adores them."

At the thought of his boss, Changbin surveys the room in search of him, getting up on his tiptoes because the platform soles of his combat boots still don't give him enough height to see over the crowd. He can't find him and assumes he's backstage, always opting to help orchestrate their events rather than observing them. Changbin thinks to head back there, too, to see if they need any help with anything and possibly relieve Yoongi from director duty so he can have a drink and enjoy himself. He's turning back to Jisung when commotion at the top of the stairs leading to the basement venue draws his attention back.

"Jesus," he breathes, closing his eyes for a moment and taking a long gulp of beer. Descending the stairs is a very obviously intoxicated Junseo surrounded by an entourage of people Changbin vaguely recognizes, other producers and wannabe rap stars that he's met briefly at parties and shows like this one. Watching him come in creating havoc like this event is about him in the slightest is both shocking and not. He's whooping and hollering with his friends, holding his can of whatever up above his head like it's a trophy. "You've got to be fucking kidding me."

"Isn't this _exactly_ what he did last time?" Jisung asks, shaking his head and looking away from the scene in a bout of secondhand embarrassment. "Blacklist his ass, dude."

If Yoongi were to see this, maybe their dream of blacklisting Junseo from public events will come true. Not to be a snitch, but Changbin's even more tempted to go and find him now. But it's like watching a trainwreck as the thirty-something man comes down and turns heads for all the wrong reasons and Changbin can't look away, anticipating whatever belligerent act he might do next. When he makes it to the bottom step and his height isn't towering over the rest of his posse, Changbin spots a blonde head of hair descending the stairs behind him, holding Junseo's hand more so to keep him upright than as a display of affection.

Hyunjin looks as gorgeous as ever, blonde hair let out of it's usual half-up half-down and parted down the middle, smokey eyeshadow and ears stacked with jewelry. He's dressed like an entirely different Hyunjin than Changbin's used to seeing at the studio, sweater vest exchanged for a big leather jacket and cropped t-shirt that exposes a strip of honey skin above the waistband of his leather pants. There's a thick choker around his neck, too, with what looks like a silver belt buckle resting on his throat. Changbin doesn't realize he hasn't moved or spoken or breathed until Jisung whacks him in the arm, bringing him back to earth.

"Is that..."

"Hyunjin," Changbin nods, downing the rest of his beer before Jisung starts punching his arm with both fists, starting to bounce up and down in excitement. Changbin feels a lot like a shy anime character in the presence of his hot senpai or something, entire face turning pink.

"You fucking dog! You absolute fucking dog," Jisung smiles, ruffling Changbin's black hair. "You're nailing _that_? I'm not gonna lie, I totally thought you were exaggerating about how hot he is. Holy shit."

Changbin scoffs, elbowing Jisung to get him away. "I've never exaggerated in my life."

Jisung rolls his eyes and brings the brim of his bottle to his lips. "Yeah, okay. Leo."

Changbin sees Junseo lead Hyunjin and his friends toward the bar as if he _really_ needs another drink, and Hyunjin begrudgingly follows them, looking away with an eye roll before he starts scanning the room, presumably trying to see who all is there and if he recognizes anyone. Changbin isn't sure why the first thing he thinks to do when Hyunjin's gaze comes near him is duck or hide or turn around so he can't see him, but Hyunjin's eyes land on him before he has the chance to do anything of the sort. His pink lips curve into a sweet smile and his eyes seem to light up at the sight of him, and he lifts his free hand to wiggle his fingers in a little wave at Changbin. The producer grins as nonchalantly as he can manage although the color on his cheeks gives him away, and he waves back.

He loses sight of him when the lights dim, the four-beat click of drumsticks signaling the start of a new set. He spots him again when the lights turn blue but then it's like he's gone the next time Changbin blinks. He figures he'll see him later on and turns to face the stage, throwing an arm around Jisung and leaning on him as the music starts to blare.

The next time Changbin sees Hyunjin — he doesn't. He feels two hands on his shoulders and hears a boo! in his ear, startling him which residually startles Jisung. Changbin looks over his shoulder to find Hyunjin beaming at him, resting his chin on his shoulder and getting dangerously close to Changbin's face which has him turning pink again. He can't help but smile, too, not only pleased to run into him at all, but to know that Hyunjin was so excited to see him that he sought him out himself in the middle of a crowd.

"Hey," Hyunjin says into his ear, stepping up beside Changbin and linking their arms. "Fancy seeing you here."

"Yeah," Changbin grins, looking Hyunjin up and down with a raised eyebrow, "I'll say."

Hyunjin giggles and pushes him playfully in the chest. He looks to Jisung who appears almost comically tiny next to him, standing barely above Hyunjin's shoulder. "Who's your friend?"

"This is Jisung, Jisung this is Hyunjin."

“Nice to meet you,” Hyunjin holds his hand out for Jisung to shake, and when Jisung does, it's with a smug look on his face. 

"I've heard a lot about you," he says, wincing at the well-deserved punch in the arm Changbin gives him. Hyunjin tilts his head curiously, a teasing simper on his plump lips.

"You tell your friends about me? All good things I hope," Hyunjin squeezes Changbin's arm kiddingly.

"Very good things. He never shuts up," Jisung steps away from Changbin and raises an arm in defense in case he's going to hit him again, which, his hand was rising to do just that. Hyunjin laughs and reaches out to stop Changbin's hand, pulling it back so he can't attack.

"Aw, don't be embarrassed, Binnie," he coos, and that doesn't make Changbin feel any less embarrassed because he's never called him _Binnie_ before. "I tell my friends about you, too."

Changbin raises his eyebrows, blinking as Hyunjin rests a hand lightly on his chest. "What would you have to tell your friends about me, _Jinnie_?"

"Wouldn't you like to know."

The flirtatious banter that's about to start is interrupted by Jisung making a gagging noise. "Get a fucking room," he teases, turning back to the stage to watch the show. Changbin shakes his head with a grin, looking on to the stage as Hyunjin leans into him. It feels a little too natural, standing there watching a concert with this guy on him that probably looks a lot like his boyfriend, and he starts to get a little too comfortable with it until he remembers that it’s not like that. Not supposed to be, anyway.

“Where’s uh,” Changbin glances toward the bar, “...you on babysitting duty tonight?”

Hyunjin rolls his eyes. “His buddies can look after him for a minute. I told him I was going to look for my friend.” Changbin isn’t sure if he’s the friend in question, in which case, how bold of Hyunjin to leave Junseo just to come hang out with him. But Hyunjin stands up a little straighter to peer over the crowd, seemingly looking for someone else. 

“He said he’d be here around ten…” Hyunjin continues; at any rate, he did end up seeking out Changbin anyway which feels like a bit of a win in his book. “I think I see him! I’ll be right back.” He untangles his arm from Changbin’s and lands a quick peck on his cheek before he disappears in the crowd. Jisung is looking at him with raised eyebrows when Changbin turns to him, his own face painted with pleasant surprise.

“Oh, so it’s like _that_?” Jisung grins, squinting at Changbin as though there's something he isn't telling him. Changbin doesn't know whether to agree or disagree, to shake his head or nod. This is as much a new development to himself as it is to Jisung, but he likes it.

When Hyunjin returns he has a boy in tow, hand in hand so he didn't get lost in the crowd. His head of electric blue hair strikes Changbin first, standing out all the more against his all-black outfit and pale skin. He's pretty, the kind of face he'd expect a friend of Hyunjin's to have, fox eyes and a septum piercing that Changbin could never pull off. He's definitely taller than Changbin, too, which irks him a little bit more.

The boy smiles shyly as he's led to join their little group, imprinting dimples into his cheeks. "I found him," Hyunjin says, letting go of his hand but opting to rest a comforting hand on his shoulder. He introduces him as Jeongin, and Jeongin gives them polite little bows with a handshake for each of them. If Changbin watches Jisung closely enough, he sees the way his usual exuberant spirit has gone a bit… timid when he greets Jeongin, and Changbin raises an eyebrow curiously. He’ll pretend he doesn’t notice it, for Jisung’s sake.

“I’ve been trying to get him to come out forever,” Hyunjin says, grinning when Jeongin rolls his eyes. “He’s kind of shy at first, but he’s really great.” 

It’s cute, the way that Jeongin starts to go a little timid, too, smiling so softly and curling into himself just like Jisung is. Jisung who, somewhere in the last few seconds, has managed to hide himself halfway behind Changbin but is pretending to be too occupied with his beer to engage in the conversation.

Changbin angles his shoulders to the side as he looks over one at Jisung, smiling wider when Jisung’s big, mousy eyes look back at him. “Yeah, Jisung too.”

Hyunjin ends up resuming his position at Changbin’s side, arm looped through his and leaning into him comfortably while they watch the show, Jisung on Changbin’s other side and Jeongin by Hyunjin. Changbin glances over at Jisung and finds him still acting so weird, unlike himself before Hyunjin had come back with Jeongin. He’s known Jisung for a long time, almost four years now, and if he can be presumptuous, this seems a lot like a Jisung with a crush.

“Hey,” Changbin says into his ear, startling him out of the trance he’s fallen into, having been staring into the fog on the stage. “What’s your deal?”

Jisung frowns. “What’s _your_ deal?”

Changbin chuckles at the immediate defensiveness. “Why are you acting like that?”

“Like what?” Jisung’s eyes flicker somewhere past Changbin’s head for a moment, and then back. Somehow Changbin can sense him turning red, even under the colored lights.

Changbin nods his head toward Jeongin discreetly. “You think he’s cute?”

Jisung’s eyes go so wide, they might fall right out of his head. “You wanna die?”

All of Jisung’s threats to end Changbin’s life get lost in Changbin’s laughter, which only makes him angrier. He’s about to tease him again, but Hyunjin’s hand lightly tapping his chest steals his attention. 

“I’m gonna go check on him,” Hyunjin says, then turns to Jeongin and presumably says the same thing before he takes his arm back from Changbin and slips away from the group, in the direction of the bar. 

Being left alone with the Awkward Twins feels a lot like third-wheeling, to be honest, standing between them like a chaperone and two prom dates. Jeongin seems sweet, and Changbin knows what it feels like to be spooked by meeting new people. He knows that if he left Jisung alone with Hyunjin and his friend, he’d want them to make Jisung feel included, too.

“This your kind of music, Jeongin?” Changbin asks him, and beams in amusement when Jeongin scrunches his nose up a little. “I didn’t have anything to do with these guys. You can be honest.”

Jeongin laughs, and it’s a cute, wheezy sound that would probably sound really nice alongside Hyunjin’s. “Uh, not really my type, no. They’re not bad! Just… yeah.”

“Fair enough. What _is_ your type?” It’s an innocent, genuine question about music, but Jisung seems to think that Changbin is trying to be sly and clutches his arm hard enough to hurt. Changbin tries to keep his mischievous grin down.

“I’ve always been pretty into metal, I guess? Hyunjin mentioned there were a couple bands tonight that I’d be into.”

Changbin lights up, lifting his hand to rest on top of Jisung’s that’s still holding onto him forbiddingly. “Jisung here is in a metal band, you know.”

Jisung grips him tighter. “Changb—”

“Really? What do you do?” Jeongin’s kind smile and curious head-tilt stop Jisung in his tracks, all of the rage in his features melting into shyness once again. 

“Uh, bass. I play bass.”

“That’s really cool!” Jeongin looks just as timid now that he and Jisung are finally speaking _to_ each other and not through a Changbin-shaped filter. He wrings his hands awkwardly, but tries his best to keep eye contact with Jisung. “What are you guys called?”

Changbin feels like a proud father, watching the stage while his two little fledglings talk on their own, Jeongin letting out more of those adorable laughs and Jisung responding with cute laughter of his own. The current band’s set ends and the stagehands come out to change out their equipment for the next artist’s. Changbin is just about to check back into Jisung and Jeongin’s conversation when hollering from the bar, characteristic of the bane of Changbin’s existence, reminds him that Junseo’s still a very real threat to this event and Hyunjin’s been gone a long time.

“I’ll be right back,” Changbin says, and Jisung holds onto his sleeve as he parts from the group, softly calling Changbin’s name as though he’s not ready for his emotional support to leave him alone in this situation just yet. 

“Five minutes, Ji. Promise.”

When Changbin gets to the bar, it’s about as much of a mess as he anticipated. The bartenders look irritated, busying themselves with patrons other than the group of grown men yelling and knocking glasses over, knocking back shots and asking for more. It reeks of weed and something like tequila when Changbin approaches, and standing off to the side of the circus is Hyunjin, leaning on his elbow against the counter and pretending he can’t see what’s happening beside him.

Surely, the only reason they haven’t been thrown out is because Junseo’s told them a million times who he is, that he knows Yoongi, whatever bullshit he usually works to get his way wherever he goes. But if Yoongi knew this is what’s happening out here…

“Hyunjin,” Junseo calls, far too loud as if Hyunjin isn't _right_ there. “What are you drinking?”

Hyunjin still doesn’t look at him, picking at the cuticles of his nails, so disinterested. “Nothing.”

“Come on,” Junseo moves closer to Hyunjin, wrapping an arm around his waist. Hyunjin wrinkles his nose, most likely from the smell coming off of him, and puts a warning hand on his chest. “You haven’t drank all night.”

“Because I don’t wanna drink, Jun,” Hyunjin wraps his hand around Junseo’s wrist, now, as he goes to grab his ass. “Hey, stop, seriously.”

Junseo smacks his lips in irritation, glowering at Hyunjin like he just offended him. “What the hell is your problem lately?”

“I don’t have a problem, dude, I just said I don’t want to drink tonight.”

“Yes you do. You ain’t fun anymore. You don’t even let me fuck you anymore.”

“ _Jun!_ ”

It’s hard to watch Junseo touch Hyunjin, running his hands along Hyunjin’s sides and Hyunjin continuously trying to pry them off. Does Changbin have the right to feel possessive? Whether he does or not, knowing that Junseo is not only making Hyunjin uncomfortable but disrespecting him in front of all of these people is infuriating. 

“Baby, quit acting like that. You wanna embarrass me?" Junseo begins dragging his lips along Hyunjin's neck and Hyunjin reluctantly allows him, mostly because he's being caged in against the bar.

"You're embarrassing _yourself_ , Junseo. Please, stop." Hyunjin's expression is panicked. Changbin pushes his way through the few people standing in front of him and over to the display. He grabs at Junseo's shoulder to get him to turn around, and Hyunjin deflates with relief.

"He fucking said stop, Junseo," Changbin raises his voice both so it can be heard over the music, and so it can get through the haze of whatever Junseo's been drinking and smoking that's clouding his judgement right now. "Get it together, man. Back off him."

The way that Changbin can really tell that Junseo's out of his mind on something right now, is the fact that he's remaining mellow while Changbin is all but shoving him around. He looks down at Changbin with unfocused eyes, and when he raises his hand, it's not to shove Changbin back. It's to rest it on Changbin's shoulder and use him as leverage to stand up straight.

"Changbin, man," he slurs, "we don't have to have any problems tonight. It's all good, man. We're just having a good time."

Changbin narrows his eyes at his colleague. "You need to take it easy before Yoongi sees you. You know he doesn't even want you here."

Junseo laughs, too loud and too hard especially considering Changbin hasn't said anything even remotely funny. His voice bellows when he decrees, "When did Yoongi say he doesn't want me here? I can't be here? I paid for half this shit. You—"

"Yah," a familiar, thunder-deep voice calls from the direction of the stage. Yoongi appears to be coming from the roped off archway that leads behind the scenes, off to the right of the stage. Shrouded in black with a headset around his neck and his hands in his pockets, he sidles their way with two stagehands and Seungmin in tow, probably coming out to check on something but sidetracked by the antics over at the bar. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Changbin removes Junseo's hand from his shoulder and lets the older man stumble a little, until he gets a grip on the edge of the bar. Junseo doesn't even have a chance to answer Yoongi before their boss, as small and unassuming as he is, grabs Junseo by the collar and pushes him back toward the door he came from. "Get your ass in there. Hurry up." He pushes him again when he doesn't go fast enough, Yoongi's entourage following behind them. "You've got to be out of your fucking mind, Park."

Changbin looks at Hyunjin who looks miles and miles beyond done with all of this, and Changbin doesn't blame him in the least. He's curled into himself on a barstool, and when he meets Changbin's eyes, the genuine frown on his lips turns into an exaggerated pout.

"Hey," Changbin walks over to him, leaning in to speak into his ear. "You wanna get out of here?"

Hyunjin takes his hand to hop down from the stool. "Please."

When they get back to Jisung and Jeongin, the pair are standing closer together than when Changbin left them, talking into each other’s ears and still making each other laugh. Changbin sees the way that Jisung lays a flirtatious little hand on Jeongin’s arm while he smiles about something the blue-haired boy says, and Changbin almost feels bad for interrupting when Jisung is finally getting comfortable enough to spit game.

“You guys wanna go back to mine?” Changbin offers when the two of them notice that he and Hyunjin are back. “I’ve got, uh… I don’t know. Games and shit.”

Jisung gasps, looking up at Jeongin. “He’s got a Playstation! It’s so dope.”

Jeongin makes an _oooh_ noise in appreciation. “For real? Yeah, I’m down.”

Hyunjin grins, lacing his fingers through Changbin’s as their little group squeezes through the crowd to get to the entrance. “You sure you only wanna come for the Playstation, Yeni?”

Jeongin sputters behind them. “Wh—”

Changbin and Hyunjin exchange a knowing expression as they lead the two out the door.

Changbin only seems to realize now, as they’re climbing the stairs to get to his floor, that he’s never had Hyunjin over to his place before. He’s kind of nervous about it, if he’s honest with himself; he knows that Hyunjin has money, a lot of it, and it’s not like Changbin is poor or even struggling, but he knows for sure that he doesn’t have it like Hyunjin has it. His apartment is small, a studio space with a tiny kitchen and an even tinier bathroom, but it’s big enough for him and his two cats to live adequately. He’s not the best interior designer and he’s usually not home enough to care if it’s messy or clean, but he hopes to god he didn’t leave it a disaster tonight. He and Jisung pregamed here earlier, so there’s really no telling.

If he still felt the same way about Hyunjin as he did when he first met him, he would be certain that he’d get judged for the way that he lives. If he were bringing in the prissy Hyunjin that always flaunted his name brands and never wore the same sweater twice, Changbin would be mortified. Now that he knows Hyunjin, though, he doesn’t think Hyunjin ever would have been judgy like that at all, even if they weren’t as close as they are now. First impressions are funny that way.

Luckily, the place isn’t as awful as he assumed it would be. There are some dishes in the sink, clothes on his bed, cat toys on the ground, and then there’s the recording equipment on his kitchen table that serves as his makeshift home studio, stringing wires all over the place. The bottles he and Jisung drank from are still on the coffee table, and the controllers to his game console are beside them. Jisung makes a typical, loud Jisung noise and kicks his boots off, guiding Jeongin over to the sofa once he’s gotten his shoes off, too. 

Changbin stands awkwardly by the door, slowly unlacing his shoes while Hyunjin does the same next to him. It’s like he’s waiting for Hyunjin to confirm the suspicion that he has in his head, that he’ll think his place is gross or too small or unimpressive and then think the same thing about Changbin. But the blonde just shrugs off his jacket and hangs it on the coat rack, then heads over to join the other boys with a smile on his face. Changbin breathes out a soft laugh at himself for being so dumbly insecure.

The four of them pile onto Changbin’s couch to play a few rounds of Toshinden before it comes to light that Hyunjin is a sore loser and Jisung is super competitive and the apartment grows loud with friendly insults and yelling. Hyunjin ends up opting to spectate while the rest of them play, and after getting his ass kicked too many times by Jeongin, Changbin taps out as well. They find themselves keen to just watch the two youngest play against each other, and curl up in the armchair by the bookshelf with Hyunjin in Changbin’s lap, arms draped around his shoulders. 

“Do you want another beer?” Changbin asks, accepting a peck on the lips when Hyunjin turns his head to look at him. 

“Mhm, thank you,” Hyunjin kisses him again, then curls his arms tighter around his neck like he doesn’t actually want Changbin to get up.

“You have to let me up, then,” Changbin chuckles, patting Hyunjin on the thigh. “The faster I go the faster I’ll come back.”

Hyunjin decides to get off of him, then plops back down in the chair once he’s gone. Changbin grabs the last four beers from his refrigerator and hands one to everyone, sitting down on Hyunjin’s lap now. 

Jisung pauses the game and sets his controller on the coffee table, opening his beer and taking a long drink of it. Changbin’s not sure if Jisung realizes how deeply he’s leaning into Jeongin’s side — they may as well be cuddling at this point. Jeongin doesn’t seem to mind, especially with how he slings his arm over the back of the sofa, essentially around Jisung who, unknowingly or not, leans further into him.

They all start talking about something that Changbin’s not really paying much attention to, instead wondering where his cats are hiding, always so skittish of new people. They know Jisung well, though, and probably want to come out from their hiding places, but would rather observe from beneath Changbin’s bed or under this chair he’s sitting in where it’s safe. He’s lazing against Hyunjin’s chest, squinting into the blackness beneath his bed to see if he can spot a cat, when he hears the blonde ask, “Jeongin, did you bring…”

Jeongin seems to immediately know what he means, reaching forward to set his beer on the coffee table and then reaching into the pocket of his hoodie. He pulls out a small sandwich bag filled with a few more, smaller baggies, each with something different in them, and a little heart shaped tin. “I didn’t know what you were gonna be in the mood for, so I just brought some of everything I had.”

Changbin raises his eyebrows. He’s not sure what he’s more surprised by — the fact that this sweet, adorably timid kid keeps a stash on him, or that Hyunjin’s into it. Jisung makes another stupid Jisung noise, pleased by the new development; Changbin’s rolled with Jisung enough times to know how excited he is now. 

“What’s in the container?” Jisung asks, tucking his knees beneath him and taking the bag from Jeongin, brushing his fingers over the plastic. 

“X. I think there’s five left?”

Changbin’s eyebrows raise further, virtually in his hairline by now. “Shit, Jeongin. I didn’t know you were the plug.”

Jeongin laughs bashfully, shaking his head. “It’s not like that. I really only ever smoke weed, honestly... The other stuff is for partying or, like, spiritual cleansing with Hyunjin-hyung.”

Changbin looks at the boy he’s sitting on, blinking curiously. There’s still so much he has to learn about this guy. He’s excited about it.

“How much is it?” Jisung asks, pulling out the tin and taking the top off. There’s five pressed pills inside, pink like Hyunjin’s lip gloss. 

“One-twenty,” Jeongin responds easily. Jisung looks up at him, pupils already wide.

“Can I have one?”

“Can you handle it?”

The two of them share a look that’s heavy with mischief, and Jisung opens his mouth, letting his tongue hang out. Jeongin takes a pill from the tin and places it on Jisung’s tongue, seeming to fixate on the motion of Jisung’s mouth closing, his jaw rolling, and then his tongue coming back out clean. The kid’s too much of a tease for his own good; Jeongin has no idea what he’s gotten himself into.

The blue-haired one puts a pill on his own tongue, then turns to offer the container to Hyunjin and Changbin. Hyunjin takes one and Changbin does, too, and with a glance at the younger, Changbin says, “after you, princess.”

There is something indescribable about the way that music sounds, that colors look, that sensations feel now that it’s been some thirty minutes since they’d dropped. They go through countless CD’s in Changbin’s stereo, dancing and singing like this is a nightclub, and defile his kitchen of whatever snacks might be lurking in it. Jeongin discovers, lying on Changbin’s floor for some reason, that his rug is particularly soft, and then they all end up lying on it together, laughing about absolutely nothing and listening as the music changes to something softer, but still chaotic. Everything feels so light, like liquid gold under Changbin’s skin, and it’s comfortable here. He really likes lying on the floor with these people.

He and Hyunjin move to his bed at some point, lazing on top of the duvet and talking about nothing in particular. Jeongin and Jisung are still on the ground, he thinks, and with the gentle, wet sounds of kissing coming from over there, he’s not really trying to keep an eye on them. 

“You have a lot of books,” Hyunjin says, his voice pulling Changbin out of the daze he was slipping into, just staring back at Hyunjin like he’s the eighth wonder of the world. “Do you… you like reading a lot?”

Changbin makes an inquisitive noise and peeks over his shoulder at the bookshelves Hyunjin must be referring to. He lies his head back down and nods against the duvet, finding one of Hyunjin’s hands between them and interlocking their fingers. “I guess I do, yeah. It’s… it’s mostly just manga, but yeah.”

“Oh,” Hyunjin’s voice quirks up at the end, cute and interested. “Manga?”

He nods again. “It’s like Japanese comic books. I think they’re cool.”

Hyunjin’s eyes are wide, sparkling, like that’s the most interesting thing he’s ever heard in his life. “That’s so tight. You have, um, a lot of posters like that. Japanese cartoons. Are those about manga, too?”

Changbin grins. “Mhm. And anime.”

“Wow.”

They fall into silence, just staring at each other again, until Hyunjin speaks again, “I want to read manga, too.”

“Okay. Right now?”

Hyunjin shakes his head heavily. “Nooo. Tomorrow.”

Changbin laughs softly. “Okay, baby.”

It’s got to be at least four in the morning by now, but the clock on his bedside table is too far away for him to see with blurry eyes. So he focuses on Hyunjin some more, bringing his hand to his mouth and kissing the pad of each finger. It makes Hyunjin giggle distantly, and that makes Changbin’s heart do something crazy.

“Can I ask you a question?”

It leaves his mouth before he has a chance to filter it, but Hyunjin gives an affirming _mhm_ with his eyes still trained so intensely on his own. Changbin takes a breath, gives his brain a chance to decide if it really wants to go here or not, and then says, “why are you with him?”

Hyunjin blinks, and Changbin continues, “I’m not asking to start shit, I just genuinely wanna know what it is. Is his dick big? You can tell me.”

The laugh that leaves Hyunjin is loud and bright and unfiltered, more than Changbin thinks he’s ever heard from him before. It takes him a moment to calm down, and even when he speaks, he’s still laughing. “Jesus, Changbin.”

“I’m serious! That’s the only thing I can think of. He has to be fucking hung. Like a fucking… I don’t know. Tell me!”

Hyunjin pushes him in the chest with their interlaced hands. “It’s… yeah. It’s big. I guess.”

Changbin sighs with all of the drama in the world. “Is it bigger than mine?”

Hyunjin starts up another round of giggles, rolling onto his back for a moment before he comes back to Changbin, licking his dry lips. “It doesn’t matter. I like yours better.”

Changbin glares at him, then rolls onto his own back. “It’s bigger. Oh my god.”

The blonde probably couldn’t stop laughing if he tried at this point, pulling himself to sit up and scoot closer to Changbin just so he can lie down closer to him, resting his head on Changbin’s chest. “Stop, I didn’t say that! I didn’t. I like yours more, that’s all that matters, Binnie.”

Changbin grunts, but concedes with a smile. “Good answer.”

He looks up at the ceiling, trying to make shapes out of the shadows that his furniture casts on it from the light of the television. He strokes his hand over Hyunjin’s hair idly, scratching lightly at his scalp now and then just to hear the pleased little simpers Hyunjin makes when he does. He can still vaguely hear Jeongin and Jisung making out beyond the sofa, and tries to tune it out with the quiet song playing from his stereo.

“He’s not all bad,” Hyunjin says so softly that Changbin almost doesn’t hear him. “He’s a lot nicer when we’re alone. He like… he’s funny, and he can be really generous. He usually buys me whatever I want, which is nice. He’s… he’s attracted to me. The sex is decent.”

Changbin scoffs. “He’s hung like a horse and the sex is only decent?”

Hyunjin smacks him in the ribs. “Stop!”

“My ego really needed that. Thank you.”

Hyunjin’s hand is still on his ribcage, running his fingers along it over Changbin’s t-shirt. “He was better when we first started dating, almost a year ago? My parents liked him. I met him through my dad.”

“And how do they feel about him now?”

A tense lull between them. “They don’t really know.”

Changbin swallows around the lump growing in his throat. “Don’t know what, Jin?”

It seems to take a lot for him to actually say it. “That he treats me like that.”

Changbin’s hand pauses where it’s been stroking Hyunjin’s hair, and then continues, a little slower now. “How do you think they would feel if they knew?”

“They would be really upset.”

Changbin glances down at Hyunjin, finding him looking off into space at nothing, eyes looking a little unfocused and cloudy. “Yeah.”

He wraps his arms around Hyunjin and reels him into a hug, the blonde shifting on top of him so that he’s clinging to him, face buried in the crook of Changbin’s neck. His body feels so warm, and Changbin holds him so close that, under the influence, it seems like their bodies could just melt right into each other. He kisses the side of Hyunjin’s head.

It could be minutes or hours by the time that Jisung pops up from the floor, the racket of him nearly tripping over the coffee table startling Changbin into looking over at him. He looks a fucking mess, hair disheveled and the collar of his shirt all stretched out to show off all of the red marks Jeongin must have made. When the offender stands up he doesn’t look much better, lips all swollen and hickeys decorating his skin like a necklace. Changbin watches them blankly until Jisung notices him looking, stopping in his tracks on the way to the door.

“Hi, sweetheart,” he greets him, bending down to put his shoes on. Jeongin follows suit, then goes back to the couch to gather their things. “We’re gonna go upstairs,” he says in reference to his own apartment, a couple of floors above. He wiggles his eyebrows at Changbin.

“Have fun, be careful on the stairs,” Changbin calls, patting Hyunjin on the back to get his attention. “Babe, Jeongin is leaving.”

Hyunjin pops his head up and shakes his hair out of his face, sitting up to straddle Changbin’s waist in what’s supposed to be casual and nonchalant and not at all the tease it ends up being. Changbin looks up at him and lets his hands gravitate to Hyunjin’s waist, the leather of his pants squeaking beneath his palms. 

“Where are you going? Are you gonna fuck Jisung?”

Jeongin might be high and halfway to fucking Jisung already, but he’s still as shy as he was earlier in the night when they’d first met. He goes absurdly pink and turns his back to Hyunjin as he pulls his jacket on, but his little “maybe,” can still be heard.

Hyunjin tucks his hair behind his ear and starts looking around him for his own jacket, “do you need a condom? I—”

Jeongin pulls open Changbin’s door and ushers Jisung out. “Goodbye, Hyunjin,” he hushes him, closing the door behind them.

The air feels charged now that they’re alone, notably because of the fact that Hyunjin is, quite literally, on Changbin’s dick right now. When Hyunjin looks down at him, his dilated pupils seem somehow even bigger than they were before. His touch on Changbin’s chest is purposeful, sliding up and down and then squeezing at his pecs. Changbin grins up at him.

“What did you bring a condom for, hm?” he asks, squeezing Hyunjin’s thighs in return. The blonde leans down and presses a long kiss to Changbin’s mouth. Changbin’s not sure the euphoric feeling that comes with it is just because of the ecstasy.

“Oh, you know. Just in case.”

Rolling around in his sheets with Hyunjin, getting each other undressed with some difficulty and giggling into each other’s mouths, Changbin vacantly realizes they’ve never done this in a bed. It’s always been somewhere at the studio, or in his car, all uncomfortable surfaces and tight spaces with Changbin’s hand over Hyunjin’s mouth because he can’t help how loud he gets. Now with Hyunjin all spread out beneath him, long limbs and gorgeous body on display while Changbin takes him apart, he thinks this is the only way he wants to do this from now on. He doesn’t want either of them to have to hold back. But he knows that’s wishful thinking.

Hyunjin makes the cutest sounds when he’s getting fucked, and Changbin can’t help but wonder if Junseo’s ever even heard them. He can bet he hasn’t, considering the way that Hyunjin convulses and cries and downright screams when Changbin’s mouth is between his legs — he’d be surprised if Junseo’s ever done this for him. His noises only get cuter and louder when Changbin fucks him deeply into the mattress, chest to chest with Hyunjin’s legs wrapped around him, slowly like they have all the time in the world. By the time that they finish, it’s so late that the sun is starting to peer through the window. They fall asleep in a mess of limbs on top of the covers.

•

In the morning, Hyunjin is still there. Changbin isn’t sure why he thought, in his sleep, that Hyunjin would disappear. When he wakes up, there’s a head of messy blonde hair on his bare chest, a softly snoring body halfway on top of him, illuminated by the sun pouring in. Changbin runs his knuckles along Hyunjin’s spine and fondly watches how his long eyelashes flutter at the sensation.

It’s Saturday, so Hyunjin doesn’t have class or anything, and gladly accepts Changbin’s offer to stay a while. They shower together even though it’s a very tight fit in Changbin’s shoebox-sized bathroom, and Changbin gives him the unopened spare toothbrush he keeps in the medicine cabinet. It’s an odd feeling seeing two in the little toothbrush holder on his sink now, but he thinks he could get used to it. 

Hyunjin steals a big t-shirt and boxers from Changbin’s dresser and hangs around while Changbin tries to make them a shitty breakfast, just pancakes and eggs because that’s all he really knows how to make. His cats finally come out from hiding and they seem to take somewhat of a liking to Hyunjin although he’s a stranger, but they let him pet them a few times before running away. Hyunjin smiles every time and counts every time as a win. 

When Changbin sets their plates on the coffee table, Hyunjin looks up from the random manga he’d pulled off the shelf and studies the food with a look that Changbin can’t really decipher. The pancakes came out pretty ugly, but he’d squirted whipped cream on them in the form of smiley faces to cover it up, so he hopes it’s not that bad. 

Hyunjin looks up at him with actual tears in his eyes, and Changbin panics a little. Is he allergic to pancakes or something? Eggs? He hates whipped cream? “I can make something else, I—”

Hyunjin shakes his head quickly, sniffling and pushing his book away in favor of pulling Changbin into a hug that’s Hyunjin’s arms wrapped tightly around Changbin’s waist, his head against Changbin’s stomach because one of them is sitting and the other is standing. “No, I don’t want anything else. That’s perfect.” He looks up at Changbin and smiles, “Thank you, Changbin.”

  
  



End file.
